


3, 2, 1 we came to fuck

by CMQ31



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Eventual Romance, Humor, Light Angst, Multi, OT11 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-03-16 08:11:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 21,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13632267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMQ31/pseuds/CMQ31
Summary: 'chokyu: who knows you might end up bagging yourself a sugar daddy so you can finally fulfill that gross kink of yours'orthe obligatory chat fic.





	1. subject: fake boyfriends

**Author's Note:**

> title is from vampire money by mcr 
> 
> honestly idk why i wrote this
> 
> chat fics are my guilty pleasure and i couldnt find any suju ones.
> 
> anyways this was weird to write but i hope y'all can enjoy it. 
> 
> this fic is actually making me feel super embarrassed nsjsnuj 
> 
> ot11 bc its rlly hard to write so many characters in a chat fic sorry
> 
> edit:
> 
> •you won't find overuse of memes here  
> •hopefully the humour isn't cringey  
> •not too ooc i hope

 

**heenim has created a group.**

 

**heenim has added teukie83, yesung, kimkangin, shindh, lsungmin, eunhyukee, siwonchoi, donghae1986, ryeong, and chokyu to the group.**

**heenim has named the group 'Bible Study Session'**

chokyu: heechul you're a fucking atheist.

 

siwonchoi: Is he finally converting? :o

 

heenim: you fucking wish

 

heenim: anyways

 

heenim: listen up sluts

 

ryeong: but you're the only slut here

 

chokyu: nsjndsjfnjsdf

 

heenim: i wasn't the one stripping on a table while lipsyncing to adam levine and grinding onto anything that moves on jungsoo's 21st birthday

 

ryeong: i-

 

teuk83: wild party huh.

 

shindh: half of us weren't even legal back then

 

eunhyukee: fuck off neither were you

 

shindh: i literally breathed

 

heenim: ANYWAYS

 

heenim: are all of you on right now?

 

teuk83: just get to the point

 

donghae1986: I'm on! :3

 

heenim: <3

 

donghae1986: <3

 

eunhyukee: gross

 

chokyu: jealous^

 

lsungmin: can it brats, let the man speak

 

heenim: thank you sungmin

 

heenim: so like

 

heenim: my parents are bugging me about my love life

 

heenim: and they wanted to introduce me to some chick but i told them i was gay and taken

 

heenim: the latter being a lie

 

heenim: and

 

heenim: my parents want to meet him

 

heenim: so

 

heenim: any possible candidates to be my fake bf

 

**kimkangin has left the group.**

heenim: thank god

 

donghae1986: me!!

 

heenim: sorry kiddo you're too good for me:((

 

donghae1986: :((

 

eunhyukee: donghae you're 19 fucking act like it

 

donghae1986: go fuck yourself

 

teuk83: why did you lie about being taken

 

teuk83: they would've stopped at 'i'm gay'

 

heenim: ...

 

heenim: anyone else?

 

chokyu: well

 

heenim: no not you

 

chokyu: stfu why would i date you

 

chokyu: was gonna say that i know people

 

heenim: your internet friends could be creepy 60 year old grandpas for all we know

 

chokyu: that sounds like jungsoo  

 

teuk83: what

 

chokyu: but as i was saying

 

chokyu: instead of one of us taking one for the team

 

chokyu: i'd rather have you try and hook up with my gaming friends

 

yesung: so you're throwing him into the wolves' den?

 

ryeong: more like the pig's pen. full of gross old men.

 

chokyu: i dont associate with old men what is wrong with you all

 

shindh: don't talk about jungsoo like that!

 

teuk83: i-

 

heenim: fuck all of you you're not helping

 

donghae1986: i offered...

 

heenim: except for donghae but i obviously won't date him he's like my brother

 

eunhyukee: good

 

heenim: but i'm open to any choices really

 

eunhyukee: don't

 

shindh: hyukjae just say you love donghae and go ffs

 

donghae1986: what

 

eunhyukee: lmao no

 

eunhyukee: why would i like an overgrown child

 

chokyu: he's hopeless, shindong

 

heenim: STOP GOING OFF TOPIC FFS

 

heenim: DO Y'ALL NOT CARE ABT ME

 

siwonchoi: You dug your own grave though :^)

 

eunhyukee: fucking remove the nose you insufferable prick

 

siwonchoi: :-)

 

siwonchoi: That's his nose removal scar haha

 

**eunhyukee has removed siwonchoi from the group.**

donghae1986: hyukjae don't be a dick:(

 

**eunhyukee has added siwonchoi to the group.**

yesung: w h i p p e d

 

eunhyukee: literally shut up

 

ryeong: has anyone noticed that hyukjae's been extra bitchy today

 

chokyu: hardly. he's the same as ever.

 

eunhyukee: idk how i feel about that

 

**heenim has added kimkangin to the group.**

lsungmin: why you do that

 

kimkangin: why wouldn't he do that?

 

heenim: i need everyone's opinions on this

 

heenim: donghee?

 

shindh: i told you to call me shindong smh

 

shindh: i say you take kyu's offer and go with it

 

chokyu: you definitely should

 

chokyu: who knows you might end up bagging yourself a sugar daddy so you can finally fulfill that gross kink of yours

 

ryeong: heechul has a,,,daddy kink??

 

heenim: don't y'all

 

eunhyukee: no way lol

 

**eunhyukee has changed the group name to 'heechul has a daddy kink'.**

yesung: the whole world knows, hyukjae its nothing new

 

siwonchoi: ...

 

heenim: two can play that game

 

**heenim has changed the group name to 'hyukjae has a petplay kink'.**

chokyu: nJSNJKASNDJKSNJF

 

eunhyukee: SHUT THE FUCK UP

 

chokyu: THE TEA'S BOILING HOT TONIGHT

 

**eunhyukee has changed the group name to 'kyuhyun has no gag reflex'.**

siwonchoi: UM

 

chokyu: YOU FUCKER

 

donghae1986: tmi tmi tmi

 

lsungmin: immature brats

 

teuk83: i just aged 10 years the past 5 minutes

 

shindh: you aged 50 years the past 22 years

 

yesung: that doesn't even make any sense

 

kimkangin: someone please run me over

 

**chokyu has changed the group name to 'IN THIS HOUSE WE DO NOT KINKSHAME'**

eunhyukee: a gag reflex aint even a kink wym

 

heenim: :/

 

donghae1986: seeing that no one else is helping

 

donghae1986: my offer's still open! :D

 

eunhyukee: NO

 

heenim: well no one asked for ur input hyukjae

 

heenim: you're sweet hae but i can't sorry:(((

 

eunhyukee: yeah listen to your seniors hae

 

ryeong: you're being painfully obvious it's actually hurting me physically

 

teuk83: just

 

teuk83: just take kyu's offer and get it over with, heechul

 

heenim: yessir

 

eunhyukee: ...

 

heenim: don't you fucking dare

 

**eunhyukee changed heenim's name to kinkychul.**

kinkychul: it rhymes i'll give you that

 

kinkychul: change my name back you twat

 

shindh: you do realize you have the same power to do so?

 

**kinkychul has changed eunhyukee's name to furry fucker.**

**kinkychul has changed the group name to 'hyukjae wants to yiff donghae'**

furry fucker: hey now

 

donghae1986: what the

 

donghae1986: what the fuck is yiffing


	2. subject: rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group discovers that kyuhyun was, in fact, not 18 and conflict ensues.

**hyukjae wants to yiff donghae**

donghae1986: so i searched up what yiffing is

 

donghae1986: i want my 3 minutes back

 

lsungmin: poor bby

 

furry fucker: serves you right

 

furry fucker: you can stop your innocent act now

 

donghae1986: we all know i lost my innocence on jungsoo's 21st birthday

 

furry fucker: WHAT

 

kinkychul: njsfksdnf

 

kinkychul: that ain't news omg

 

shindh: damn how was she?

 

donghae1986: why would you assume i slept with a girl

 

lsungmin: oooo so it's a guy? how was he?

 

yesung: hyukjae's rolling in his grave

 

furry fucker: I'M NOT DEAD

 

yesung: sometimes i can still hear his voice

 

donghae1986: he was pretty good hehe

 

kinkychul: i'm so proud of you bb

 

**furry fucker has left the group.**

lsungmin: i can't believe we killed him

 

kimkangin: i can't believe donghae killed hyukjae

 

shindh: should we add him back

 

lsungmin: no

 

shindh: don't you all have class right now

 

kinkychul: yes

 

teuk83: pay attention in class

 

kinkychul: well why are you on your phone?

 

teuk83: it's not like my professor cares

 

kimkangin: true

 

teuk83: where tf are you

 

kimkangin: not in class obviously?

 

kimkangin: i'm at a mcdonald's drive thru does anyone want anything

 

yesung: lmao they let you drive?

 

kimkangin: shut the fuck up

 

yesung: anyways i want mcnuggets

 

kinkychul: i want a mcflurry

 

lsungmin: if they still have hash browns at this hour get me some

 

chokyu: wow must be nice being a college student

 

kinkychul: lmao

 

teuk83: lmao

 

yesung: lmao

 

kimkangin: lmao

 

shindh: lmao

 

lsungmin: lmao

 

siwonchoi: lmao

 

donghae1986: lmao

 

ryeong: lmao

 

yesung: sometimes i forget that you're still in high school

 

lsungmin: oh gross

 

chokyu: fuck

 

siwonchoi: Well he doesn't act like one

 

chokyu: ^

 

lsungmin: why do we even know him again

 

teuk83: bc he's my cousin

 

shindh: he doesn't even look like you

 

teuk83: s i g h

 

chokyu: shut up all of you

 

siwonchoi: Am i the only one here who didn't know kyu's his cousin

 

lsungmin: i still don't know why he's here

 

chokyu: bc i have no friends at school?

 

lsungmin: wait why are you on your phone

 

chokyu: does it rlly matter

 

**shindh has added furry fucker to the group.**

shindh: i felt bad

 

furry fucker: what i miss

 

yesung: did you know kyuhyun's still in high school

 

furry fucker: tf

 

furry fucker: i didn't

 

teuk83: ...

 

furry fucker: how old are you even

 

chokyu: i'm,,,17

 

furry fucker: w h a t

 

lsungmin: WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP

 

donghae1986: WHAT

 

donghae1986: NOW I FEEL BAD FOR TALKING ABOUT MY SEX LIFE HERE

 

kimkangin: your sex life is as vanilla as it gets

 

donghae1986: hey:(

 

furry fucker: like you know anything about it

 

kimkangin: actually i do

 

lsungmin: LET'S NOT talk about donghae's sex life

 

lsungmin: and can we please change the group name i'm getting weird looks

 

**teuk83 has changed the group name to '10 legal adults and a baby'.**

 

chokyu: i'm only a year younger than ryeowook wtf

 

chokyu: besides i'm turning 18 in a few months

 

ryeong: and what do you plan to do by then

 

chokyu: uhh get laid?

 

kinkychul: LMAO

 

chokyu: ????

 

kinkychul: why would anyone sleep with you

 

chokyu: fuck you

 

kinkychul: ew no you're ugly AND a kid

 

kinkychul: an ugly kid

 

teuk83: can we not talk about this

 

teuk83: p l e a s e

 

teuk83: also someone please change hyukjae and heechul's names

 

**chokyu has changed furry fucker's name to professional yiffer.**

**kimkangin has changed kinkychul's name to rental sugar baby.**

**teuk83 has left the group.**

professional yiffer: ffs i don't have a petplay kink

 

**lsungmin has changed rental sugar baby's name to heenim.**

lsungmin: sorry but that name made me throw up a little

 

professional yiffer: and mine doesn't?

 

lsungmin: we can't deny facts

 

professional yiffer: i hate you all

 

donghae1986: even me? :0

 

professional yiffer: ESPECIALLY you

 

donghae1986: :(

 

**donghae1986 has left the group.**

shindh: real smooth man

 

yesung: way too go, hyuk

 

heenim: LMAO

 

**lsungmin has changed professional yiffer's name to eunhyukee.**

eunhyukee: wow min, you're like, a literal saint

 

lsungmin: only because you looked so pitiful

 

**heenim has added teuk83 and donghae1986 to the group.**

teuk83: we're going to have to establish rules here

 

kimkangin: agreed^

 

chokyu: i hate to say this but he's right

 

teuk83: first

 

teuk83: no more leaving the group

 

teuk83: or removing anyone from the group

 

teuk83: no matter how much an asshole they can be

 

heenim: dammit

 

heenim: anyways

 

heenim: second

 

heenim: donghae should change his username bc its too fucking long

 

eunhyukee: *cough*

 

heenim: i will literally block you if you say another fucking word, lee hyukjae

 

donghae1986: hmmm

 

**donghae1986 has changed their name to haehae.**

lsungmin: omg that sounds cute.

 

haehae: :3

 

eunhyukee: gross

 

siwonchoi: third

 

siwonchoi: let's not swear too much

 

yesung: impossible.

 

heenim: ^

 

heenim: rule three we do not take choi siwon seriously

 

heenim: guy lost his marbles the day we celebrated jungsoo's 21st birthday

 

teuk83: wild party huh.

 

siwonchoi: I feel personally victimized by heechul

 

eunhyukee: aren't we all

 

ryeong: stfu y'all spamming my notifs

 

yesung: go on silent mode dumbass

 

eunhyukee: rule 4

 

eunhyukee: no changing other people's usernames without their permission

 

yesung: boo you whore

 

kimkangin: where's the fun in that

 

haehae: don't be a killjoy, man

 

eunhyukee: fine, but it must be changed back in a span of 24 hours

 

yesung: w h i p p e d

 

teuk83: five

 

teuk83: no 18+ convos when kyuhyun's online

 

eunhyukee: relax old man, it's not like he doesn't know what eating ass is

 

chokyu: i hope you go to jail

 

chokyu: btw i've never even slept with anyone why would you know that i don't have gag reflexes

 

eunhyukee: you downed a whole water bottle without stopping remember

 

eunhyukee: and can we not bring that up i feel shitty already for saying that 

 

chokyu: right

 

heenim: you're both disgusting

 

chokyu: must i remind you who's the one with a daddy kink?

 

heenim: i'm not having this conversation with you

 

chokyu: did anyone know about my actual age before i told you all

 

teuk83: obviously me

 

teuk83: but i don't think the others knew before

 

chokyu: omg

 

chokyu: i kinda feel bad now nsjnsj

 

kimkangin: how does it feel like to make the rest of us feel like criminals, cho?

 

chokyu: you really shouldn't be asking that question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're definitely going to cover his 18th birthday in this fic woop


	3. subject: the mall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short update bc i just got back from my study trip.  
> sorry if it's shitty i can't rlly think right now:/
> 
> also thank you???for the kudos???and the comments??? i kinda expected this fic to flop tbh but omg i'm rlly happy that it's getting attention

 

**10 legal adults and a baby**

heenim: update on the situation w/ my parents

 

heenim: i told them my fake bf is busy atm and they told me to send a pic instead

 

heenim: so i used one of ur pics

 

heenim: sorry

 

kimkangin: are you fucking kidding me

 

lsungmin: dear lord you're hopeless

 

shindh: as long as it isn't me do what you gotta

 

ryeong: pls dont tell me you sent them kyu

 

chokyu: im calling the police

 

eunhyukee: can you all stfu i have to do a paper that's due tomorrow

 

heenim: goddammit it's not kyuhyun!!!

 

haehae: is it me?

 

eunhyukee: not everything's abt you hae ffs

 

heenim: hyukjae dont be a dick

 

heenim: also no it's not hae jesus calm down i ain't stealing anyone's man

 

eunhyukee: WAIT HE'S TAKEN?

 

yesung: this is painful to read

 

heenim: WHY DO WE ALWAYS GO OFF TOPIC WHENEVER I'M ABOUT TO TALK

 

shindh: because

 

shindh: you talk too much

 

yesung: yeah let others speak for once

 

heenim: are we rlly going to establish rules on speaking time now

 

lsungmin: actually that's not a bad idea

 

heenim: are you for real

 

teuk83: i second that

 

heenim: JUGS OO HOW CAN YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS

 

teuk83: lol

 

heenim: I ALREADY SAID I WAS SORRY FOR TRICKING MY PARENTS THAT YOU'RE DATING ME

 

teuk83: WHAT

 

heenim: w a i t didn't i tell you just then

 

teuk83: NO???

 

heenim: woops

 

**heenim has left the group.**

 

teuk83: i need aspirins

 

ryeong: lmaoo he broke a rule already

 

chokyu: if anyone needs to say anything better do it now before heechul comes back

 

eunhyukee: well

 

chokyu: OKAY im adding heechul back again brb

 

eunhyukee: die

 

haehae: hey is everyone free today

 

eunhyukee: yeah we are whatsup

 

ryeong: no you're not

 

ryeong: you have a paper due tomorrow

 

eunhyukee: i never said that

 

ryeong: :/

 

shindh: well it's a sunday, most of us should be free

 

siwonchoi: which means we should be in church,,,

 

haehae: i can hear heechul screaming from afar

 

kimkangin: holy shit he's not joking jsnfkjdsn

 

teuk83: what were you going to ask us hae?

 

haehae: let's go to the mall

 

teuk83: what for

 

haehae: groceries for donghwa but might as well do something else for the day

 

haehae: i'm bored

 

lsungmin: are you asking all of us to come with?

 

haehae: yes !!

 

shindh: idk about that tbh

 

teuk83: just ask sungmin or ryeowook to come with you

 

eunhyukee: all of you better stfu and come with

 

eunhyukee: what if he gets lonely

 

teuk83: hyukjae he's a 19 year old man

 

haehae: yeah what if i get lonely jungsoo

 

teuk83: i'm

 

eunhyukee: you're a horrible person to let him go alone

 

haehae: how could you treat me like this jungsoo

 

eunhyukee: it's dangerous to go alone

 

chokyu: are we roleplaying now

 

chokyu: can i be zelda if hae's link ;))))

 

eunhyukee: no you cant

 

eunhyukee: i'm zelda

 

chokyu: bitch no the lines have been spoken and you're the old man

 

yesung: is jungsoo ganondork

 

teuk83: it's _ganondorf_

eunhyukee: then YOU be the old man cho

 

eunhyukee: id make a better zelda than you

 

chokyu: no

 

chokyu: i'm zelda

 

chokyu: jungsoo's obviously the old man

 

chokyu: youngwoon can be ganondorf

 

kimkangin: don't drag me into this

 

chokyu: you're navi

 

shindh: that'd be heechul

 

haehae: tf are you guys even talking about

 

eunhyukee: ...

 

chokyu: g a s p

 

lsungmin: you shouldn't have said that hae

 

chokyu: i'm honestly disappointed in you hae

 

chokyu: you're no longer my favorite

 

haehae: ???i was your favorite

 

haehae: uh anyway

 

haehae: pleasseeee accompany me to the mall

 

ryeong: why

 

haehae: because

 

haehae: you love me

 

eunhyukee: you heard him

 

eunhyukee: come on let's go shopping

 

ryeong: i can't beleive i had to witness those words come out of lee hyukjae's keyboard

 

***3 hours later***

teuk83: LEE DONGHAE

 

haehae: !!!

 

**teuk83 has added heenim to the group.**

teuk83: chul back me up

 

heenim: i'm not done pitying myself let me be

 

haehae: i really didn't know it'd go this way i'm so s o r r y

 

eunhyukee: you have nothing to apologize for???

 

teuk83: YES HE HAS

 

eunhyukee: o ka y the n

 

heenim: what happeend

 

chokyu: WERE THE MISSING CHILD ANNOUNCEMENTS AIMED AT ME

 

chokyu: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE ACCESS TO THE MALL'S PA SYSTEM

 

eunhyukee: woah chill man

 

chokyu: DON'T 'WOAH CHILL MAN' ME YOU DIPSHIT THAT WAS YOUR VOICE

 

eunhyukee: WELL WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU FUCKING GO DICKHEAD

 

chokyu: I'M IN THE BREAKFAST AISLE AND I HAVE A FUCKING PHONE YOU ASSHAT

 

heenim: o shit

 

ryeong: has anyone seen sungmin?????

 

siwonchoi: he's fighting with a 12 year old kid who called him a pussy

 

ryeong: kids say shit like that???

 

ryeong: tell sungmin to beat him up

 

teuk83: NO

 

teuk83: WON DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

 

siwonchoi: don't worry i'm recording it

 

teuk83: NAJKDN

 

kimkangin: are we really going to discuss this in a group chat

 

yesung: DON'T DRIVE WHILE YOU TEXT

 

yesung: WE DON'T WANT A REPEAT OF LAST TIME

 

yesung: AND THAT'S MY CAR YOU'RE DRIVING IN ASSHOLE

 

heenim: donghee what happened

 

shindh: hae made us accompany him shopping

 

heenim: and?

 

shindh: so we were walking in the supermarket

 

shindh: then hae told youngwoon to get some alcoholic drinks that donghwa requested

 

shindh: youngwoon wanted to get some for himself as well but jungsoo was like 'no' but youngwoon went and did anyway

 

shindh: jongwoon got mad and chased after him

 

shindh: at the same time hae started panicking bc he thought they were gonna fight and told min to look for them

 

shindh: then we saw both youngwoon and jongwoon yelling at each other in the parking lot and min was nowhere to be found

 

shindh: so siwon went to look for him and found him fighting some kid

 

**siwonchoi sent a video.**

 

shindh: which you can see in the video above

 

shindh: then kyuhyun got bored with all of us yelling at each other and walked away then jungsoo panicked and went to look for him

 

heenim: tf

 

shindh: he was under a lot of stress you can't rlly blame him

 

shindh: anyway he didn't find kyu and hyuk thought the best idea was to get access to the mall's PA system

 

shindh: then security found hyuk and he blamed it on jungsoo and the security guards rlly thought they were the same guy and arrested jungsoo instead

 

shindh: luckily kyu's dad owned the mall and it was all forgiven

 

heenim: how the fuck

 

shindh: well not all

 

shindh: youngwoon took jongwoon's car and drove away

 

shindh: and jongwoon's chasing after youngwoon by foot

 

chokyu: should we call the police

 

heenim: your dad owns a fucking mall????

 

haehae: IT'S NOT MY FAULT THO !!!

 

teuk83: how so

 

haehae: i was gonna get the drinks myself but hyuk told me that since i was underage and they wouldn't give it to me

 

haehae: i didn't want to burden jungsoo and jongwoon was on a phone call so i told youngwoon to do it

 

haehae: :(((

 

teuk83: GODDAMMIT HYUKJAE

 

eunhyukee: TF DID I DO

 

teuk83: YOU CAUSED THIS TO HAPPEN

 

teuk83: GET BACK HERE I SEE SEE YOU BEHIND THAT SHELF

 

heenim: holy shit

 

heenim: did donghae just singlehandedly managed to shift the blame to someone else

 

haehae: :3

 

chokyu: my dad got sungmin out of trouble omg

 

chokyu: a powerful man

 

chokyu: now that all is well we can all go home

 

heenim: i can't believe i wasn't there

 

siwonchoi: believe me when i say it's better of that way

 

heenim: what was that supposed to mean

 

lsungmin: let's just get back before anything else happens

 

ryeong: did you win btw???

 

lsungmin: stfu brat

 

haehae: come on let's get back, i just finished

 

**20:45**

 

yesung: hey uh

 

yesung: can someone pick me and youngwoon up from the police station

 

yesung: anyone????

 

yesung: ?????


	4. subject: uwu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> donghae is an uwu but so is hyukjae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok idk how many hits this has as i'm writing this but i last checked and it was almost 500 and i'm so??? thank you for putting up with my shitty humour i love you all

**chokyu changed the group name to 'y'all going to jail'.**

chokyu: congrats fam we on the news

 

heenim: ?????

 

chokyu: turn on ur tv

 

heenim: oh shit is that youngwoon and jongwoon nsjnsjdks

 

kimkangin: thanks for not picking us up from the police station btw :)

 

lsungmin: Wait how'd you get back?

 

kimkangin: remember kibum?

 

heenim: isn't he studying overseas?

 

kimkangin: apparently he came back and jongwoon got him to pick us up no thanks to you

 

shindh: Didn't donghae used to date him

 

lsungmin: ssSHHHHH

 

lsungmin: you'll awaken the beast

 

**teuk83 sent a link: [HOT] College Students Cause Disruptions In Local Mall.**

yesung: what kind of shitty title

 

lsungmin: stfu

 

lsungmin: YOU caused this

 

teuk83: I thought we all agreed that this was Hyukjae's fault.

 

heenim: ^o shit he typin like that ur asses are in trouble

 

eunhyukee: ??????

 

eunhyukee: suuure lmao

 

teuk83: Oh it is.

 

eunhyukee: he's scaring me a little

 

teuk83: :)

 

eunhyukee: lmao bye i'm heading to campus now

 

lsungmin: He's lying.

 

lsungmin: He's in the bathroom rn

 

chokyu: wait how'd you know???

 

lsungmin: he left his window open. I can see his room through mine.

 

lsungmin: we're neighbors

 

chokyu: oh

 

teuk83: Reminds me.

 

teuk83: DID YOU REALLY SEND MY PICTURE TO YOUR MOM @ heenim !?!?!??!?!

 

heenim: gtgggg

 

teuk83: GET BACK HERE

 

ryeong: funny how we all sound so different here than irl

 

chokyu: rlly now

 

ryeong: jungsoo is rlly soft spoken irl but he sounds pretty aggressive here

 

kimkangin: it's cuz he's not that expressive when it comes to feelings. he's a complete diff person on chat.

 

chokyu: well i obv know that i'm his cousin dipshits

 

teuk83: kyukyu is actually shy irl his sarcasm is his defense mechanism so ppl would avoid him

 

chokyu: JUNGSOO

 

ryeong: KYUKYU NJKSDFNSJ

 

**ryeong changed chokyu's name to kyukyu.**

kyukyu: FUCK YOU

 

haehae: that's basically MY username:/

 

**eunhyukee changed haehae's name to donghey.**

eunhyukee: there sounds cuter right.

 

donghey: i prefer haehae but ok

 

eunhyukee: :/

 

ryeong: and hyukjae's rlly quiet irl unless he's drunk,,,

 

eunhyukee: and wook's even bitchier irl

 

kimkangin: and donghae's not as innocent as he seems

 

donghey: hey i'm the literal embodiment of uwu irl

 

ryeong: actually he's a slut

 

eunhyukee: DON'T CALL HIM A SLUT

 

heenim: DON'T SLUTSHAME YOU WHORE

 

ryeong: YOU CALLED US ALL SLUTS

 

heenim: CUZ Y'ALL SLUTS

 

donghey: :3

 

heenim: <3

 

eunhyukee: gross

 

eunhyukee: and if anyone's an uwu that'd be me

 

eunhyukee: 

 

lsungmin: did you come out of the bathroom just to take that pic

 

donghey: hey you look cute there

 

eunhyukee: uwu

 

donghey: uwu

 

lsungmin: unbelievable

 

heenim: 

 

heenim: ;)))

 

siwonchoi: uh why aren't you wearing anything

 

heenim: ffs did you have to ruin it for everyone

 

kyukyu: gross delete that

 

heenim: 

 

kyukyu: die

 

eunhyukee: LMAO WAS THAT DURING FRESHMAN YEAR

 

kyukyu: die

 

kyukyu: 

 

eunhyukee: fuck u

 

donghey: oooo who dat sexi boy ;)))

 

eunhyukee: 

 

donghey: why

 

teuk83: s t o p

 

teuk83: donghae don't even think about it

 

donghey: :(

 

donghey: can we just send cute selfies instead

 

donghey: i have tons

 

eunhyukee: send them !!!

 

lsungmin: thirsty ass motherfucker

 

yesung: he's just looking for jackoff material

 

ryeong: fuck off no one wants to see them

 

heenim: STOP BEING SO MEAN TO HAE

 

eunhyukee: and i'm chopped liver

 

donghey: lmaooo fuck you all :(

 

donghey: 

 

ryeong: ugly

 

eunhyukee: CUTE 

 

siwonchoi: Should I send in mine too?

 

donghey: oh fuck yes please

 

eunhyukee: whatever

 

lsungmin: pass

 

ryeong: no gross

 

siwonchoi: :/

 

heenim: wow y'all so toxic

 

kyukyu: you fucker you started it

 

teuk83: he's right

 

heenim: why are you taking his side

 

teuk83: b-because he's right

 

heenim: the fuck are you stuttering for

 

kyukyu: how do you even stutter on keyboard nsjssjshjs

 

teuk83: s i g h

 

siwonchoi: pretty sure you all should be in campus rn:/

 

heenim: SHIT

 

lsungmin: hyukjae just leapt a meter from his bed wtf

 

kyukyu: lmaooooo

 

kimkangin: shouldn't you be at school

 

kyukyu: i am??

 

kyukyu: i mean school starts at 7 so :))))

 

yesung: did you really think kyu is the type to break the rules

 

kimkangin: yes?? brat's got a nerve

 

yesung: dead wrong

 

teuk83: he's a good boy at school

 

kyukyu: ew don't say it like that

 

teuk83: ????what

 

**16:09**

**y'all going to jail**

donghey: soooo how was everyone's day? :3

 

eunhyukee: like shit

 

donghey: :(((

 

eunhyukee: :(((

 

donghey: sending some <3 <3

 

eunhyukee: :') <3

 

heenim: can you two just fuck already

 

donghey: but that'd be cheating

 

heenim: w h a t

 

eunhyukee: ,,,,

 

donghey: i'm kinda with kibum now since he's back???

 

eunhyukee: oh

 

eunhyukee: brb i need to finish my paper

 

**eunhyukee has left the group.**

donghey: couldn't he just mute the chat ??

 

heenim: hoo boy

 

lsungmin: i hate to be honest but idk if you're that dense or you're purposely being a dick rn

 

heenim: watch it pal

 

donghey: uh okay?

 

donghey: brb i'm with kibum rn can't chat

 

lsungmin: what was the purpose on asking how our days were,,,

 

heenim: he was just being considerate you asshole

 

lsungmin: whatever

 

siwonchoi: i see them in a cafe, making out

 

ryeong: disgusting.

 

siwonchoi: Everything's disgusting to you.

 

heenim: yeah stop being a bitter bitch

 

ryeong: can't help it sorry:))))

 

kyukyu: wow imagine being that much of a bitch can't relate

 

ryeong: imagine being as ugly as you are can't relate

 

kyukyu: 

 

heenim: damn why's everyone so damn bitter today

 

teuk83: we're always damn bitter wdym

 

shindh: We !!! Need !!! Some!!! Damn !!! Positivity !!! Here !!!

 

lsungmin: Agreed.

 

lsungmin: Why don't we all get off our phones for a whole day

 

lsungmin: And see what happens

 

siwonchoi: Well

 

siwonchoi: We have been spending half of the day here, even during classes

 

lsungmin: there u go

 

teuk83: sungmin's right

 

teuk83: so

 

teuk83: no messaging for 24 hours

 

teuk83: bc we're bad influences to each other

 

yesung: welp

 

yesung: i mean

 

yesung: i suppose you're right

 

teuk83: even jongwoon agrees

 

heenim: s i g h

 

lsungmin: i'll tell hyukjae abt it

 

shindh: cool

 

shindh: can't wait

 

lsungmin: mhm

 

**The next day, 04:45 AM**

yesung: FUCK ME IN THE ASS HEECHUL JUST CLIMBED THROUGH MY ROOM WINDOW OUT OF NOWEHREUR AND I FUCKING PISSERED MYSEGLF AND I ACCIDEHNNTALLY FLUNG MY TURTLE AT HI M NJSKDFS

 

lsungmin: GODDAMMIT JONGWOON SHUT THE FUCK UP

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not too proud of this one since i ran out of jokes 
> 
> BTW at every end of a chapter, i'm going to make a relationship 'chart' to explain the relationship between the characters here since it gets a bit confusing later on. 
> 
>  
> 
> I'm going by age order (sorry kyu) 
> 
>  
> 
> so this chapter will obv be teukie
> 
>  
> 
> •Jungsoo > Heechul: maybe a small crush in him but is very denial and finds it baffling that he could feel such things for chul
> 
>  
> 
> •Jungsoo > Yesung: were roommates on their first year, enjoys his company since he's somewhat quiet(er) irl
> 
>  
> 
> •Jungsoo > Kangin: is very tired of picking him up from the police station, despite that, remains a loyal friend  
>  
> 
>  
> 
> •Jungsoo > Shindong: often comes to him for advice though they used to fight a lot due to differences in opinions 
> 
>  
> 
> •Jungsoo > Sungmin: trusts him the most when it comes to looking after the others (trust lost when min fought the 12 yr old kid tho)
> 
>  
> 
> •Jungsoo > Eunhyuk: is annoyed by his obvious crush on donghae since the latter wouldn't do anything abt it
> 
>  
> 
> •Jungsoo > Siwon: thinks he's a good person and a bit too perfect, which kind of scares him
> 
>  
> 
> •Jungsoo > Donghae: thinks of him as his own younger brother, finds his innocent act a bit weird
> 
>  
> 
> •Jungsoo > Ryeowook: likes to teach him stuff, though he wishes that wook was a little less rude sometimes
> 
>  
> 
> •Jungsoo > Kyuhyun: perpetually annoyed by his younger cousin and is kind of afraid of him, tries his best to look after him tho


	5. subject: johnny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyuk returns to the group chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok y'all too nice i love you :"
> 
> btw you can drop by a suggestion for what may happen for the future chapters! I may put in some of your ideas into a chapter but not all of it...am i running out of ideas? the answer is yes. but i rlly want to keep this fic ongoing hehe so, again, drop by some suggestions 
> 
> thank you for commenting and leaving kudos love you all 
> 
> also dont mind me replying to most of the comments haha i just love doing so

 

**y'all going to jail**

 

heenim: hey guess what

 

yesung: nah

 

**heenim has removed yesung from the group.**

teuk83: chul pls

 

**heenim has added yesung to the group.**

 

yesung: tf

 

yesung: what was that for

 

heenim: your name's boring

 

heenim: change it

 

yesung: no need to my mom got it covered

 

heenim: what

 

yesung: did you know she changed my name last year

 

heenim: WTF

 

kyukyu: so...you're not jongwoon?

 

teuk83: ...you willingly let it happen?

 

yesung: i legit had no idea she did that

 

yesung: she suddenly called me during class

 

yesung: next thing i knew i was kim john hoon

 

yesung: *Jonghoon gdi

 

kyukyu: JOHN HOON

 

heenim: NJSNDKJS

 

yesung: HEECHUL NO

 

**kyukyu has changed yesung's name to john hoon.**

john hoon: :/

 

teuk83: you dug your own grave

 

siwonchoi: Must all of us go through it

 

kyukyu: you're definitely next on the list

 

heenim: good choice

 

siwonchoi: What's wrong with my name???

 

heenim: it's boring

 

siwonchoi: :^|

 

siwonchoi: Why isn't anyone telling me to remove the nose

 

lsungmin: cuz hyuk isn't in the group anymore

 

siwonchoi: Right...

 

shindh: ...

 

shindh: this feels awkward

 

shindh: where's donghae?

 

kimkangin: busy with kibum

 

shindh: and why isn't hyukjae added back?

 

lsungmin: he doesn't want to

 

heenim: ffs

 

heenim: those two are way too dramatic

 

lsungmin: it's donghae's fault for crushing his hopes like that

 

heenim: well it wouldn't happen if he had been clear with his intentions towards donghae instead of acting denial like that

 

lsungmin: well

 

lsungmin: i suppose you're right

 

heenim: donghae is one thickheaded motherfucker tho

 

shindh: true

 

kyukyu: thicker than a bowl of oatmeal

 

kyukyu: ;))))

 

siwonchoi: Too bad Hyuk isn't here

 

kyukyu: can someone add him back i miss bullying him

 

john hoon: why are kids nowadays so rude

 

kyukyu: shut up john

 

john hoon: fuck off cho

 

heenim: ANYWAYS

 

teuk83: is this abt the pic of me you sent to your MOM

 

heenim: can you get over it ffs

 

heenim: and yes it is

 

teuk83: ..

 

heenim: 

 

heenim: i sent this one

 

ryeong: ok that's a hella cute dog

 

ryeong: also i didn't know you were an expert at soft edits

 

shindh: when did you get orange hair

 

heenim: she thinks he's cute

 

heenim: jungsoo looks okay i guess

 

teuk83: : first of all my dog is a SHE

 

heenim: nah you're cute too love u

 

teuk83: hhHHHHHH

 

heenim: ;)))

 

kyukyu: leave my cousin alone asshole

 

heenim: what if i don't

 

kyukyu: you'll suffer

 

heenim: you're as harmless as a newborn puppy

 

teuk83: unfortunately he's right kyu

 

kyukyu: don't patronize me !!!

 

heenim: he sounds like one of those butthurt 12 year olds you find in mmo games

 

kyukyu: 

 

kyukyu: don't fuck with me i have the power of god AND anime on my side !11!!1! AaAaAAAAA!1!!1!!

 

ryeong: OMGDJSKDFSNF

 

heenim: bitch im an atheist

 

heenim: 

 

heenim: my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard

 

siwonchoi: HOLY SHIT LMAOO

 

ryeong: NSKJDFS

 

kyukyu: JUNGSOO DID YOU SEND HIM THAT

 

teuk83: w ell

 

kyukyu: WE PROMISED TO NEVER SPEAK OF THAT NIGHT

 

kyukyu: AFTER ALL MY HARDWORK OF DEFENDING YOUR HONOR THIS IS WHAT I GET ????

 

teuk83: kyuhyun i can explain

 

kyukyu:

 

heenim: the indrecibles (2003)

 

teuk83: kYUHYUN

 

siwonchoi: can we stop it here before it gets out of hand

 

donghey: that's impossible

 

donghey: since you guys are

 

donghey: quite handful

 

**heenim has removed donghey from the group.**

 

teuk83: heechul

 

**heenim has added donghey and eunhyukee to the group.**

eunhyukee: [(video link)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4WO0mirjlQ)

 

**eunhyukee has left the group.**

lsungmin: get your ass back here brat

 

**lsungmin has added eunhyukee to the group.**

 

heenim: i'm disappointed in hyukjae for using outdated vines

 

eunhyukee: no vines are ever outdated excuse you

 

donghey: hyukjaeee

 

donghey: i'm really sorryyyy

 

eunhyukee: you did nothing wrong :((

 

donghey: :"(((

 

lsungmin: un fucking believable

 

john hoon: better than them fighing

 

eunhyukee: why the hell is johnny in our group chat

 

john hoon: this is jongwoon asshole

 

eunhyukee: i would very much prefer johnny now

 

john hoon: die

 

kyukyu: anyways before y'all interrupted i believe i was delivering an important message to my dear cousin

 

heenim: *hot cousin

 

kyukyu: STOP THAT

 

kyukyu: IT'S WEIRD TO CALL MY COUSIN HOT

 

teuk83: no one's telling you to call me hot but ok

 

kyukyu: NJSNDS

 

kimkangin: you broke kyuhyun

 

ryeong: he's broken the moment he stepped afoot into this group

 

teuk83: you all corrupted him

 

eunhyukee: tell that to his 1 TB worth of porn

 

kyukyu: SHUT UP

 

teuk83: OKAY i didn't need to know that

 

john hoon: what is wrong with you people

 

eunhyukee: shut up johnny no one asked you

 

john hoon: can we kick hyukjae out again

 

shindh: yea let's replace him with johnny

 

donghey: i like johnny

 

heenim: i don't

 

donghey: why not

 

heenim: what's he so damn tall for

 

eunhyukee: well what are you so short for

 

heenim: i'm taller than you brat

 

siwonchoi: If anyone here is tall it's me duh

 

heenim: how's the weather up there

 

kyukyu: when i hit my growth spurt it's over for all you bitches

 

teuk83: unfortunately you already did

 

teuk83: you're tall yes but not as tall as siwon

 

kyukyu: gdi

 

kimkangin: as long as i'm taller than him

 

kyukyu: no you're not your neck's short

 

kimkangin: still taller than you

 

kyukyu: well i'm taller than donghae

 

eunhyukee: and that's not saying much

 

eunhyukee: the only people shorter than hae are wook and sungmin

 

lsungmin: just wook

 

lsungmin: i'm taller than hae apparently

 

ryeong: i feel victimized

 

shindh: well no one told you to be that short lmao

 

john hoon: you know what they say abt short people

 

kyukyu: that they have short dicks?

 

ryeong: i'm not having this conversation with you

 

teuk83: let's stop before we start measuring our dicks

 

lsungmin: hyukjae just went to look for a ruler

 

teuk83: i'm not surprised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now heechul!
> 
>  
> 
> •Heechul > Jungsoo: high key likes him but would never openly admit it bc he’s quite shy about crushes 
> 
>  
> 
> •Heechul > Yesung: while he enjoys poking fun at him, heechul is very supportive of him whenever he performs on stage singing
> 
>  
> 
> •Heechul > Kangin: likes to rile him up for no good reason, despite that, he, jungsoo, and heechul remain very good friends
> 
>  
> 
> •Heechul > Shindong: doesn’t have much opinion on him, but they like to double team against hyukjae 
> 
>  
> 
> •Heechul > Sungmin: the only person he would yield to other than donghae and jungsoo 
> 
>  
> 
> •Heechul > Eunhyuk: his favourite person to bully, despite that, he really cares for him and hopes he and hae get together
> 
>  
> 
> •Heechul > Siwon: is quite annoyed by him being for very religious but thinks he is good company sometimes 
> 
>  
> 
> •Heechul > Donghae: loves him like his own little brother, would often spoil him
> 
>  
> 
> •Heechul > Ryeowook: thinks he’s a very rude kid along with kyu, tolerates him, but is standing on thin ice 
> 
>  
> 
> •Heechul > Kyuhyun: doesn’t see him as a kid and treats him as if he’s his own age, but obviously cares for him
> 
> i just realized i mixed up kangin and yesung's ages njkdnfsi woops better fix that


	6. subject: crushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lil bit dramatic at the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this mid studying bc im so stressed hhh
> 
> thanks to everyone who commented and left a kudo! and obv to the ones who read haha 
> 
> so i'll be off for a while for exams :( 
> 
> hope you enjoy this last bit for a while, definitely will be back soon, sorry if it's pretty boring i've been feeling off nowadays bc of stress hhh
> 
> btw i'm changing the summary bc it sounds so ugly nsdkjfs

**y'all going to jail**

**heenim has changed the group name to 'the legion of doom'**

kyukyu: why

 

heenim: to represent our love lives

 

kyukyu: rip

 

lsungmin: except for donghae apparently

 

shindh: and me

 

lsungmin: godammit shindong get over it

 

kimkangin: isn't heechul dating someone rn

 

teuk83: i'm not dating him

 

kimkangin: i'm talking about his 1:1 asuka body pillow but ok

 

shindh: lmao fucking weeb

 

heenim: compared to a certain group of people i'm still tame

 

kimkangin: are you talking about those 5 kids you saw in the mall

 

heenim: they were literally sat in a circle playing yu gi oh while talking about shonen anime i dont do that

 

shindh: yeah you talk about anime boobs

 

shindh: and jungsoo's dick

 

teuk83: sssSHHHH kyu's online

 

kyukyu: rather than feeling corrupted i wish i never read that with my own two eyes thanks a lot shindong

 

heenim: FALSE

 

heenim: i talk about neither of them

 

teuk83: oh

 

teuk83: thank god

 

kimkangin: you sound disappointed

 

john hoon: because he is

 

teuk83: am not

 

john hoon: are too

 

teuk83: am not

 

eunhyukee: you all sound tragic

 

siwonchoi: You really shouldn't be saying that

 

siwonchoi: :^)

 

**eunhyukee has changed siwonchoi's name to insufferable prick.**

insufferable prick: :^\

 

eunhyukee: enough with the nose gfdi

 

heenim: it's too long

 

**heenim has changed insufferable prick's name to personal atm.**

personal atm: Is this all I am to you all

 

heenim: yes and no

 

personal atm: Bc i feel honored :'^)

 

john hoon: sometimes i feel bad making fun of him he's too nice

 

john hoon: wonder if he's dating someone

 

shindh: don't tell me you want to date him...

 

john hoon: I mean

 

john hoon: why not

 

shindh: gold digger

 

john hoon: psshhhh you would too

 

shindh: lmao no thanks

 

eunhyukee: i need to bleach my eyes brb

 

personal atm: Careful you'll damage them

 

eunhyukee: .

 

eunhyukee: that's the point freak

 

donghey: i think he's just looking out for you be nice hyuk

 

eunhyukee: hae he's clearly playing some sort of mind games with me

 

donghey: he's not smart enough to do that

 

ryeong: but siwon's smart tho?

 

donghey: academically

 

donghey: but he's not that street smart

 

ryeong: like you?

 

donghey: whatever have i done?

 

ryeong: pls

 

eunhyukee: i can write a whole trilogy of the dumbest things you do when unsupervised

 

donghey: yeah right

 

donghey: okay maybe there were a few times

 

ryeong: 'a few times'

 

donghey: okay a lot of times but come on

 

heenim: dammit hae he just wants a reason to look after you

 

eunhyukee: can it chul

 

kyukyu: if you don't like hyukjae there's always me hae ;)))))

 

eunhyukee: i will end you

 

kyukyu: try me

 

kyukyu: i can literally step on you

 

eunhyukee: you're not THAT tall

 

eunhyukee: you know who's tall

 

ryeong: not you?

 

eunhyukee: zhou mi duh

 

eunhyukee: compared to kyu, he's a streetlight and kyu's a pudgy cactus

 

donghey: cuz he's a prick?

 

kyukyu: why do you make puns stop it's unattractive

 

donghey: you're 17 why do you keep insisting that you like me

 

kyukyu: i'm just trying to rile hyukjae up duh

 

kyukyu: cause it's funny to see him get jealous

 

kyukyu: also geez i'm turning 18 in a few

 

eunhyukee: well i certainly dont find it AMUSING

 

teuk83: it's still,,,weird

 

kimkangin: heechul's anime girl body pillow is even weirder

 

heenim: jesus stop bringing that up

 

heenim: i've seen the porn you watch and trust me when i say you're not one to talk

 

kyukyu: he's never one to talk abt anything

 

heenim: stay out you're a baby

 

kyukyu: fuck you

 

kimkangin: psh your kinks are weirder

 

heenim: at least i have some sort of love life going on

 

teuk83: which involves me unfortunately

 

heenim: my mom wants to meet you btw

 

teuk83: bye

 

heenim: ouch come on jungsoo

 

teuk83: ughhhh

 

kyukyu: he's shy but lowkey excited

 

teuk83: AM NOT

 

john hoon: a r e t o o

 

eunhyukee: it's obvious that jungsoo somewhat likes heechul that way

 

eunhyukee: you'd have to be blind to not see his blatant ogling

 

kyukyu: fuck fuck stop ion wanna know

 

eunhyukee: yeah? don't tell me you've never ogled at anyone

 

ryeong: don't tell me you've never crushed on anyone

 

kyukyu: ofc i have

 

kyukyu: i had a gf once

 

teuk83: you were 8

 

teuk83: and it lasted 3 days

 

kyukyu: ssSHHH

 

donghey: awww thatso cute

 

eunhyukee: can't imagine anyone wanting kyu LMAO

 

kyukyu: I have a fanclub at school excuse you

 

kyukyu: they even take pics of me

 

lsungmin: that's just creepy

 

heenim: OOH I'M ONE THEM

 

heenim: 

 

kyukyu: d i e

 

john hoon: we want HQs fansite master!!!!111!!1

 

kyukyu: fuck you chul i have the same power as you do

 

heenim: [CLOSE]

 

kyukyu: 

 

shindh: HE LOOKS LIKE GOLLUM I CANT NSKJDNFS

 

eunhyukee: is that shindong in the back

 

ryeong: is that a cat

 

heenim: WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THIS THIS WAS BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL OMG

 

kyukyu: jungsoo

 

kimkangin: lmao jungsoo is like a drug dealer but with pics instead

 

donghey: do you have any of hyuk

 

teuk83:

 

eunhyukee: why do they all look ancient

 

kyukyu: so is jungsoo

 

teuk83: hey now

 

ryeong: are we not going to acknowledge the fact that a bunch of people bothered to follow kyu around

 

heenim: uh yes we are

 

heenim: it's disturbing

 

kyukyu: wow you care

 

heenim: that people think kyu is worth following around

 

kyukyu: wow you really deserve a call out post rn

 

eunhyukee: i second that

 

personal atm: Same

 

eunhyukee: we are all victimized by heechul

 

donghey: he did nothing wrong !!!

 

heenim: i knew you were the only bitch here i could trust

 

donghey: <3

 

heenim: <3

 

eunhyukee: gross

 

teuk83: i'm having a deja vu rn

 

eunhyukee: actually same

 

kimkangin: guys

 

kimkangin: can we temporarily add 2 people into the chat for the next few days

 

heenim: depends who

 

kimkangin: zhou mi and henry

 

heenim: zhou mi can come in but NOT HENRY

 

heenim: he's like kyuhyun 2.0

 

donghey: he's nice !!!

 

heenim: you're no longer the only bitch i trust here

 

donghey: ouch

 

eunhyukee: nothing's worse than kyu wdym

 

kyukyu: don't you mean no one

 

eunhyukee: yeah sure

 

eunhyukee: then again henry's bad

 

lsungmin: is it bc he kissed donghae once

 

eunhyukee: duh

 

donghey: it was a joke!!

 

eunhyukee: do you always jokingly kiss people then?

 

ryeong: ooOOOO DRAMA

 

donghey: :/

 

donghey: jeez you that desperate for a kiss?

 

personal atm: NJSKKKJSN

 

eunhyukee: idk they're not just for anyone

 

teuk83: stop please

 

heenim: the last thing i need rn are overdramatic kids

 

shindh: i'd rather have them being painfully obvious about each other

 

donghey: well i only kiss kibum right now

 

lsungmin: oh fuck

 

lsungmin: that's enough let's not get too far

 

eunhyukee: well fuck you

 

lsungmin: ...

 

lsungmin: hyukjae just screeched

 

heenim: are your windows okay

 

lsungmin: you worry about my windows but not my ears?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can follow my twt @ repiayminho or my ig @ tohoshimki 
> 
> again sorry if its unfunny im feeling so stressed hhhhh
> 
> next chap will have more teukchul and the appearance of zhou mi and henry! i suppose theyll be around for 2-3 chapters or less
> 
> •Yesung > Jungsoo: respects him, are quite close bc they used to be roommates 
> 
>  
> 
> •Yesung > Heechul: while they like to double team people, is still pretty annoyed by his jokes that go too far
> 
>  
> 
> •Yesung > Kangin: has a like-hate relationship with him, can get a bit tense around him, but is still his friend
> 
>  
> 
> •Yesung > Shindong: thinks he’s funny and a great guy, would take a grenade for him
> 
>  
> 
> •Yesung > Sungmin: thinks he’s too bitter and needs to loosen up, questions his taste in fashion
> 
>  
> 
> •Yesung > Eunhyuk: they like to bully each other, despite that, they’re pretty close 
> 
>  
> 
> •Yesung > Siwon: feels bad for making fun of him, thinks he’s pretty attractive (not just bc of his money nope)
> 
>  
> 
> •Yesung > Donghae: he thinks that donghae shouldn’t be babied but cant help it 
> 
>  
> 
> •Yesung > Ryeowook: basically a sungmin 2.0 in his eyes, thinks he needs to learn his manners 
> 
>  
> 
> •Yesung > Kyuhyun: cares for him like a little brother, but thinks he can be rude sometimes


	7. subject: never have i ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the guys play never have i ever, and zhou mi and henry joins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a long and boring chapter imo, i pulled an all nighter making posters, brochures, and stuff and now im sleepy as fuck and i have math exams tomorrow zzzz
> 
> hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for the lovely comments and kudos :)

 

**legion of doom**

kimkangin: i'm adding zhou mi and henry today

 

heenim: remind me again why you're putting them here

 

heenim: temporarily

 

kimkangin: cuz i'm a nice guy

 

eunhyukee: ew

 

kimkangin: they're having a hard time fitting in here and i thought maybe we could get them to loosen up a little

 

kimkangin: they're pretty stiff

 

heenim: hm

 

heenim: you need a name change

 

kimkangin: are you not paying attention to what i've been saying

 

heenim: like you have paid me any attention in the past

 

kimkangin: okay fair enough

 

teuk83: just hurry and add them so we can get this over with

 

eunhyukee: wow jungsoo's never like this with new people

 

kyukyu: he woke up on the wrong side of the bed and has been pretty grumpy since this morning

 

**kimkangin has added zhouzhoumi and henryl89 to the group.**

heenim: my name changing sense are tingling

 

henryl89: heeeeechuuuul !!!

 

heenim: get the fuck away from me

 

eunhyukee: so much for having a hard time fitting in

 

kimkangin: this is different. they have history

 

eunhyukee: like how donghae has history with henry

 

donghey: hyukjae can we drop that already

 

henryl89: donghaeeeee

 

donghey: henryyyyyyyy

 

donghey: why isn't zhou mi saying anything

 

henryl89: he doesn't know what he wants to say

 

henryl89: he's super awkard

 

zhouzhoumi: i'm not awkward???

 

ryeong: there's way too many people in this group now

 

kyukyu: 13 is nothing

 

ryeong: oh so you want to clump kibum is as well? might as well get add han geng in too!!!

 

heenim: who's han geng

 

eunhyukee: well we have a bunch of freshmen who made a group of 18 people. so yes, 13 is nothing

 

henryl89: ^

 

heenim: ok they fit in okay time to kick them out

 

kimkangin: NO!!!

 

heenim: woah hold your horses

 

shindh: what's going on

 

henryl89: dongheeeeeee

 

shindh: how many times do i have to tell all of you to call me shindong

 

john hoon: is it bc your name sounds like donghae

 

shindh: yes , john hoon, its bc it sounds and spells like donghae

 

john hoon: hey whatever the fuck happened to changing our names back in the span of 24 hours rule

 

personal atm: ^

 

john hoon: omg siwon agreed with me

 

shindh: im rolling my eyes so hard right now

 

personal atm: John do you perhaps like me

 

john hoon: no i just want a wad of cash

 

john hoon: did you just call me john

 

heenim: the rules dont apply if the other party consents to a name change

 

john hoon: i never consented this name change

 

heenim: neither did you consented your mom changing ur name we cant always have what we want can we now johnny

 

john hoon: :/

 

henryl89: wow i can feel myself fitting in already

 

shindh: was that sarcasm

 

henryl89: if it wasn't obvious, yes, it was

 

kyukyu: well how the hell are you two supposed to 'fit in' in college when you're here, communicating with the likes of us

 

zhouzhoumi: you aren't even in college yet

 

kyukyu: thanks for the input no one asked for

 

donghey: don't be mean to himmmm

 

kyukyu: he's an adult, donghae, i'm pretty sure a high schooler's words don't hurt him much

 

zhouzhoumi: suprisingly i feel like my ego's been sharply jabbed

 

kyukyu: you're welcome

 

shindh: so what do you suppose we do now

 

teuk83: this isn't the daycare, why are we treating it as if we're gathered in one place physically?

 

teuk83: kids nowadays and their damn phones

 

shindh: well it feels like a day care

 

shindh: you can be our caretaker

 

heenim: since i'm the second oldest i'll be helping jungsoo to look after you brats

 

donghey: let's play a game !!!

 

teuk83: donghae pls

 

donghey: should we play werewolf or never have i ever

 

eunhyukee: we can do werewolf another time let's just do never have i ever

 

teuk83: are you for real

 

teuk83: what are we, high school kids??

 

kyukyu: ahem

 

kyukyu: i've never played any of these obligatory high school games so do teach me

 

kimkangin: you should be playing them with kids ur age

 

zhouzhoumi: it's nothing to be ashamed of!

 

zhouzhoumi: i never played too

 

ryeong: cause you never had friends to play with

 

zhouzhoumi: why is ryeowook such a bitch

 

donghey: OK i'm starting

 

personal atm: None of us agreed to play,,,

 

eunhyukee: well I can safely say that I speak for all of us when i say start the game hae

 

donghey: we'll start a bit tame

 

donghey: everyone has 5 points so decrease it by 1 if you have done something

 

henryl89: why are we doing this again

 

teuk83: if any of you go past the tame line i'm kicking both donghae and kyuhyun out

 

donghey: never have i ever used someone else's toothbrush

 

eunhyukee: 5 > 4

 

kimkangin: gross

 

eunhyukee: the lights were out and i couldn't see which one mine was

 

shindh: why were you brushing your teeth in the dark

 

kimkangin: 5 > 4

 

shindh: hypocrite

 

eunhyukee: my turn

 

eunhyukee: never have i ever banged the professor's kid

 

john hoon: SNEAKY BITCH

 

eunhyukee: :))))

 

john hoon: 5 > 4

 

teuk83: JONGWOON WTF

 

teuk83: ALSO didn't we agree on going tame here

 

personal atm: I guess only person has done that

 

shindh: 5 > 4

 

personal atm: w h at

 

shindh: i didn't know her dad teaches in campus okay sdkns

 

personal atm: Okay then

 

personal atm: Zhou mi have a go

 

zhouzhoumi: uhhhh

 

zhouzhoumi: never have I ever smoked weed

 

kyukyu: you-

 

heenim: 5 > 4

 

teuk83: 5 > 4

 

john hoon: 4 > 3

 

kimkangin: 4 > 3

 

shindh: 4 > 3

 

zhouzhoumi: 5 > 4

 

eunhyukee: now why would you out yourself like that

 

zhouzhoumi: was curious,,,

 

eunhyukee: wtf you all smoke weed?

 

personal atm: I don't???

 

eunhyukee: whatever church boy

 

kyukyu: dont smoke weed kids

 

ryeong: you're the only kid here,,

 

personal atm: My turn

 

personal atm: Never have I ever skipped classes

 

heenim: are you seriously asking us that? kick it up a notch choi

 

personal atm: :^\

 

personal atm: Never have I ever had sex

 

kyukyu: nsdlhjfsdnf

 

teuk83: 4 > 3

 

teuk83: are we really going to ask the obvious

 

heenim: 4 > 3

 

john hoon: 3 > 2

 

john hoon: this is targeted discrimination

 

kimkangin: well it's your fault for doing most of these

 

kimkangin: 3 > 2

 

shindh : 3 > 2

 

lsungmin: what the hell is going on i just woke up

 

eunhyukee: never have i ever

 

lsungmin: oh

 

lsungmin: 5 > 3

 

eunhyukee: whatd you do

 

lsungmin: that's for you to find out

 

eunhyukee: 4 > 3

 

donghey: 5 > 4

 

ryeong: 5 > 4

 

zhouzhoumi: 4 > 3

 

henryl89: 5 > 4

 

kyukyu: am i the only virgin here

 

henryl89: well there's siwon,,,

 

kyukyu: uGH somehow i knew it

 

lsungmin: my turn

 

heenim: no way you just got here it's MY turn

 

heenim: never have I ever walked into someone showering

 

teuk83: why do you do this

 

teuk83: 3 > 2

 

heenim: i am still scarred

 

john hoon: 2 > 1

 

john hoon: i hate you all

 

personal atm: 5 > 4

 

lsungmin: my turn

 

lsungmin: never have I ever dated/had sex with someone 5 years older than me

 

donghey: woah there

 

donghey: 4 > 3

 

eunhyukee: 3 > 2

 

zhouzhoumi: well well

 

heenim: DONGHAE WHAT

 

heenim: im not surprised about hyukjae but DONGHAE WHAT

 

donghey: it was a month ago omg

 

eunhyukee: WHAT

 

donghey: its not that bad jungsoo and heechul are only 3 years older than me its not different

 

heenim: well i never dated you so

 

eunhyukee: isnt anyone gonna ask me when i did that

 

heenim: nope

 

heenim: 3 > 2

 

shindh: hmmm

 

shindh: never have I ever went out in public drunk

 

kimkangin:,,,

 

kimkangin: 2 > 1

 

ryeong: 4 > 3

 

heenim: YOU'RE UNDERAGE

 

ryeong: jungsoo gave the drinks to me

 

teuk83: hey what now

 

lsungmin: 3 > 2

 

henryl89: 4 > 3

 

henryl89: i'm learning so much about you guys

 

zhouzhoumi: i feel like i'm not supposed to know most of these

 

kimkangin: i'll just get back to you all

 

kimkangin: never have I ever made it to the news

 

kimkangin: 1 > 0

 

john hoon: ,,,,

 

john hoon: 1 > 0

 

lsungmin: welp

 

lsungmin: 2 > 1

 

teuk83: 2 > 1

 

kyukyu: 5 > 4

 

ryeong: 4 > 3

 

donghey: 3 > 2

 

personal atm: 4 > 3

 

eunhyukee: 2 > 1

 

henryl89: holy shit what did you all do

 

teuk83: that is

 

teuk83: a story for another time

 

zhouzhoumi: i wanna ask but i rlly dont wanna ask

 

john hoon: its better you dont know

 

john hoon: never have I ever had a crush on someone from this group

 

shindh: you're walking a really dangerous line here

 

eunhyukee: 1 > 0

 

donghey: 2 > 1

 

teuk83: 1 > 0

 

heenim: 2 > 1

 

john hoon: talk about being obvious

 

kyukyu: well

 

kyukyu: crush as in a crush right?

 

john hoon: yeah?

 

kyukyu: 4 > 3

 

teuk83: WOAH THERE NOW

 

heenim: it's probs just some innocent crush come on jungsoo

 

teuk83: I guess,,,

 

teuk83: i'll talk to you about this later then

 

kyukyu: rip

 

teuk83: well

 

teuk83: never have i ever slept with a straight guy

 

kyukyu: what happened to keeping it pg 13

 

teuk83: fuck that

 

kyukyu: lol

 

heenim: 2 > 1

 

zhouzhoumi: how does one sleep with a straight man

 

personal atm: it

 

personal atm: happens

 

zhouzhoumi: ????ok

 

donghey: 2 > 1

 

lsungmin: 1 > 0

 

ryeong: 3 > 2

 

kyukyu: fuckin finally

 

kyukyu: never have I ever broke the law

 

kimkangin: thank god i'm out

 

shindh: 2 > 1

 

kyukyu: the hell did you do

 

shindh: illegally downloaded some,,,things

 

kyukyu: well makes sense

 

henryl89: 3 > 2

 

zhouzhoumi: holy fuck what did YOU do

 

henryl89: when i was a kid i stole a candy bar from a minimart

 

henryl89: the store owner chased me around the block before we ended up back on the store and i didnt see the stop sign in front of me

 

heenim: 1 > 0

 

ryeong: smoking weed is illegal guys

 

zhouzhoumi: 3 > 2

 

shindh: 2 > 1

 

kyukyu: wait who's left

 

teuk83: shindong, siwon, zhou mi, donghae, wook, you, and henry

 

ryeong: i need to deliver the last blow to donghae and shindong

 

ryeong: hmm

 

ryeong: oh !

 

ryeong: never have i ever had alcohol at the age of 16

 

ryeong: 2 > 1

 

shindong: 1 > 0 rip

 

donghey: 1 > 0

 

eunhyukee: i thought you didnt drink

 

donghey: i dont drink, but doesn't mean i never have

 

henryl89: my turn

 

henryl89: never have i ever read fanfiction

 

kyukyu: ugh

 

kyukyu: 3 > 2

personal atm: uhhh

 

personal atm: 3 > 2

 

zhouzhoumi: 3 > 2

 

ryeong: 2 > 1

 

henryl89: 3 > 2

 

heenim: wtf

 

kyukyu: it was a really weird naruto phase

 

heenim: understandable

 

lsungmin: siwon????

 

personal atm: i was curious

 

donghey: seems like everyone has had their turns so i'm gonna try and eliminate the rest of you

 

donghey: never have i ever slept throughout a whole class

 

henryl89: 2 > 1

 

zhouzhoumi: 2 > 1

 

ryeong: 1 > 0

 

kimkangin: why are you so tame

 

kimkangin: never have i ever jacked off to a celebrity

 

henryl89: that's just unfair

 

henryl89: 1 > 0

 

zhouzhoumi: 1 > 0

 

kyukyu: 2 > 1

 

zhouzhoumi: it's like stating the obvious

 

personal atm: 2 > 1

 

kyukyu: damn even church boy? lol

 

eunhyukee: interesting...

 

kyukyu: guess it's us left

 

kyukyu: i'm giving hyukjae the honors of delivering the last question

 

eunhyukee: why thank you

 

eunhyukee: never have i ever wore the same clothes for 4 days straight

 

kyukyu: HYUKJAE

 

personal atm: guess i won

 

personal atm: :^)

 

eunhyukee: remove the nose or i'm changing the question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anymore suggestions on what happens next? i've planned ahead, but not the next chapter haha 
> 
> sorry for the lack of teukchul, but there are mega hints here 
> 
> •Kangin > Jungsoo: sees him as an older brother figure, a bit annoyed bc he’s too nice sometimes
> 
>  
> 
> •Kangin > Heechul: their like-hate relationship is pretty famous, thinks heechul needs to chill 
> 
>  
> 
> •Kangin > Yesung: questions yesung a lot of times, he really doesn’t understand him 
> 
>  
> 
> •Kangin > Shindong: perhaps the only person in the group he genuinely likes
> 
>  
> 
> •Kangin > Sungmin: thinks sungmin is one of the nicer juniors other than donghae
> 
>  
> 
> •Kangin > Eunhyuk: hyukjae picks on him a lot and he’s pretty annoyed by that
> 
>  
> 
> •Kangin > Siwon: a junior he doesn’t understand and really questions his sanity sometimes
> 
>  
> 
> •Kangin > Donghae: knows a bit too much abt donghae’s sex life for some reason 
> 
>  
> 
> •Kangin > Ryeowook: like other seniors, is pretty annoyed by his rudeness, but appreciates his singing voice 
> 
>  
> 
> •Kangin > Kyuhyun: never really talks much to kyuhyun, but is appalled by his snarky attitude


	8. subject: love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heavy angst and heavy teukchul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this chapter is a bit diff than the usual one? it's angsty and for the first time we see direct messages between characters haha
> 
> i was feeling pressed over studying history so i wrote this 
> 
> hope you enjoy it? haha 
> 
> thanks to all who supported this fic up to this far! forever grateful of it!
> 
> i will reply to comments from the previous chapters after this chapter 
> 
> btw thank you for all the suggestions! will definitely put them into thought

 

**the legion of doom**

personal atm: I HAVE DISCOVERED MAGIC

 

zhouzhoumi: ???

 

**personal atm has changed their name to siwonchoi.**

siwonchoi: How do you virtually dab

 

ryeong: i will cut off your dick

 

siwonchoi: You can't even reach my dick :^)

 

henryl89: D SFKSNDJUNDJAF

 

kyukyu: rip ryeowook. he was too young.

 

**john hoon has changed their name to yesung.**

**kyukyu has changed their name to chokyu.**

yesung: donghae?

 

donghey: actually i'm okay like this

 

heenim: im twitching so much rn

 

zhouzhoumi: have you considered seeing a doctor \

 

heenim: fuck off

 

heenim: i take it back both you and henry are horrible

 

henryl89: wow i'm being acknowledged

 

teuk83: don't be a dick chul

 

heenim: right it's reserved for you sorry babe

 

teuk83: UADJKNFS

 

chokyu: stop it his face is rlly red right now

 

heenim: i'm that powerful huh

 

teuk83: no you're THAT insufferable

 

heenim: but you wuv me uwu

 

ryeong: he's caught the hyukjae disease

 

eunhyukee: for the last time I DONT HAVE A PETPLAY KINK

 

ryeong: sure mr. mudsnout averagepaws

 

eunhyukee: SHUT

 

donghey: isn't that his fursona's name ndfjksfn

 

eunhyukee: sTOP

 

kimkangin: can it no one wants to see your bickerings

 

heenim: can we replace hyukjae with johnny already

 

eunhyukee: i thought you hated johnny

 

heenim: i hate johnny???

 

heenim: what kind of fake news have you been feeding on???

 

heenim: i love johnny

 

heenim: but i love jungsoo more

 

teuk83: heechul STOP

 

chokyu: yeah stop it kim heechul you're confusing the poor old man

 

heenim: i'm being as straightforward as i can be about my feelings

 

yesung: minus the straight

 

heenim: thing is i'm being very forward about it

 

heenim: nothing subtle

 

heenim: or confusing

 

heenim: unlike SOMONE

 

eunhyukee: i feel attacked

 

heenim: cuz i AM attacking you dipshit

 

donghey: what are you all even saying

 

lsungmin: you seriously cannot be THAt dense donghae

 

henryl89: okay,,,

 

henryl89: i hate to butt in but i still feel unwelcomed here

 

eunhyukee: then get out

 

donghey: dont be MEAN

 

zhouzhoumi: listen to your boyfriend hyuk

 

eunhyukee: HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND

 

donghey: HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND

 

zhouzhoumi: woah okay geez

 

shindh: well

 

shindh: there was a time where i was awkward with most of you all here

 

donghey: was that directed at me

 

shindh: i can't imagine myself hanging out with donghae

 

donghey: but why nooooot

 

shindh: cuz you're lame

 

donghey: hey at least i dont hate PIZZA

 

shindh: ?????what does that have to do with anything-

 

lsungmin: ignore him donghee just continue

 

shindh: so anyways

 

shindh: we usually just talk about our interests and before you know, we're close

 

donghey: i beg to differ

 

shindh: i'm not talking to you

 

henryl89: didn't we just have a tmi session 2 days ago

 

shindh: idk if you can really call that a tmi session, it's not as juicy as it's supposed to be

 

kimkangin: nothing's comparable to jungsoo's 21st birthday

 

teuk83: reeeaaallly wild party huh

 

zhouzhoumi: was it really,,,

 

heenim: you were still in china back then you wouldn't know

 

teuk83: i'm still blaming you for what happened

 

heenim: whatever have i done babyyyy :(((

 

teuk83: you're insufferable

 

heenim: yet you stay by my side ;)))

 

kimkangin: jesus just get married already

 

yesung: for the sake of our sanities and the rest of the world's, please do

 

teuk83: YOU'RE GOING OFF TOPIC

 

teuk83: so yes we should talk about our interests

 

eunhyukee: what is this, a first date?

 

shindh: yes, hyukjae. we're all dating each other here

 

shindh: except for kyuhyun

 

chokyu: leave me and my innocence out of your disgusting orgy

 

eunhyukee: you may be a minor but you can't really call yourself innocent honey

 

chokyu: ok never call me honey i just threw up all over my desk

 

eunhyukee: ew

 

teuk83: if i had a won everytime we stray off topic

 

henryl89: just fyi this whole thing is pretty awkward itself

 

yesung: go back to canada

 

henryl89: you all hate me that much huh

 

donghey: let's talk about our celebrity crushes

 

shindh: no one wants to hear about your love for rachel mcadams donghae

 

henryl89: ...

 

henryl89: is he for real

 

teuk83: unfortunately

 

donghey: well fuck you shindong at least rachel mcadams never left me for some hot tattoo artist

 

shindh: rachel mcadams is pREGNANT

 

henryl89: and canadian

 

zhouzhoumi: i like

 

zhouzhoumi: uh

 

zhouzhoumi: that one girlgroup with the song about getting electrocuted

 

kimkangin: you don't even know the name of the group how can you be their fan,,,

 

henryl89: he's too busy admiring himself in the mirror to care

 

zhouzhoumi: you make me sound as if i'm a huge narcissist

 

lsungmin: you kinda are

 

siwonchoi: Well i like

 

eunhyukee: shush no one asked you

 

siwonchoi: You're so toxic

 

zhouzhoumi: BABY CANT YOU SEE

 

zhouzhoumi: IM CALLING

 

zhouzhoumi: A GUY LIKE YOU SHOULD WEAR A WARNING

 

ryeong: I WILL MURDER YOU

 

zhouzhoumi: i don't think the lyrics went like that

 

ryeong: NDSKFJS

 

yesung: ok so zhou mi is a fan of britney spears

 

kimkangin: while heechul's a gaga fan

 

heenim: well is that A PROBLEM???

 

heenim: i listen to other artists too excuse you

 

yesung: and all of them are girl groups!

 

heenim: GIRL GROUPS ARE SUPERIOR TO BOY GROUPS

 

yesung: si g h there he goes again

 

heenim: ALL MEN DO IS LIE

 

heenim: take hyukjae as an example

 

eunhyukee: tf did i do

 

heenim: you say you aren't into petplay but horton hears a bitchass liar

 

eunhyukee: what are you even talking about

 

eunhyukee: JESUS I DONT HAVE A FUCKING PETPLAY KINKI

 

zhouzhoumi: are we gonna talk about our kinks now?

 

teuk83: NO

 

heenim: YES

 

heenim: HYUKJAE'S PETPLAY KINK MUST COME FORTH TO THE LIGHT

 

heenim: HE MUST BE EXPOSED

 

eunhyukee: WELL EXCUSE ME MR. DADDY KINK

 

siwonchoi: What am i reading

 

henryl89: y'all whack

 

donghey: hey guys

 

donghey: i hate to bring the mood down

 

donghey: what do you do if you catch your supposedly boyfriend

 

donghey: make out with some random dude in the alley

 

eunhyukee: he did what now

 

donghey: ha ha

 

eunhyukee: donghae

 

donghey: i guess all he watereed qwas a fuck

 

donghey: all evertone wants is to fucvk me anyway

 

donghey: god i freel like shjt now

 

**donghey has left the group.**

heenim: shit

 

henryl89: oh no...

 

heenim: jungsoo can you hurry find him i'm running errands for my mom rn

 

teuk83: on it

 

teuk83: what do we do after i find him?

 

heenim: just hug him bc that's what he needs rn

 

teuk83: got it

 

yesung: ...i'll help you look for him

 

zhouzhoumi: i'm still in campus, he might be here if not home

 

kimkangin: he's not picking up calls

lsungmin: i'm going to kill him

 

shindh: i'll call his brother

 

chokyu: i will hurt this kibum guy

 

ryeong: i'm going to chop his dick off

 

siwonchoi: i would never expect kibum to be like this...

 

heenim: well apparently he's a dick siwon

 

heenim: seems like people aren't as rainbow and sunshines as we think

 

teuk83: chul calm down

 

heenim: i cant fucking calm down jungsoo im livid rn

 

teuk83: come on deep breathes chul

 

teuk83: dont do anything stupid

 

heenim: thanks

 

heenim: i'm sorry i'm really worried about him...

 

**[DM] teuk83 and heenim**

teuk83: you okay now?

 

heenim: you should be asking that to donghae

 

teuk83: i found him

 

teuk83: but seems like hyukjae beat me to it

 

teuk83: he's crying but he's okay. they're hugging in the park rn

 

heenim: really?

 

teuk83: seems like hyukjae finally done it now

 

heenim: i'm glad

 

heenim: i hope he's good to donghae, vice versa

 

heenim: i may make push him around a lot but i care for hyukjae. and everyone in the group chat, really.

 

teuk83: mhm

 

heenim: sorry i'm just so

 

heenim: tired

 

heenim: donghae deserves better

 

teuk83: we all thought kibum was a nice dude

 

heenim: apparently not

 

teuk83: dont do anything rash

 

heenim: i'm not

 

teuk83: heechul

 

heenim: maybe i do plan to confront him later. or after im done with my mom's errands.

 

teuk83: don't

 

heenim: why

 

teuk83: you're the better person

 

heenim: i hate it when you say that

 

teuk83: but you are

 

heenim: i guess it's true if you think so

 

teuk83: good

 

heenim: honestly

 

heenim: idk what i'd do without you

 

teuk83: well...

 

heenim: i'm serious

 

heenim: i'd be out for blood rn if it wasn't for you

 

heenim: i hate to sound cheesy but you're a pretty special guy

 

teuk83: haha

 

teuk83: special huh

 

heenim: yeah

 

heenim: i love you, you know

 

heenim: idc if you perceive it as platonic or romantic

 

heenim: but i just need you to know that i love you so much

 

heenim: uwu *glomps*

 

teuk83: way to ruin the moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA I DONT HATE KIBUM I LOVE THAT MAN IDKWHY I DID THIS I JUST FEEL VERY PRESSED RN
> 
> as usual, you can follow me on twitter @ repiayminho, my ig @ tohoshimki, and you can drop an ask on my cc tohoshimkis
> 
> I'm mostly an sm stan! my ult groups are tvxq, shinee, and suju, but i also stan exo, snsd, f(x), nct and rv. i just got into nct recently and i really like yuta and jeno haha.
> 
> now shindong! 
> 
> •Shindong > Jungsoo: the two most mature in the group, always ask each other for advice despite the fact that they differ
> 
>  
> 
> •Shindong > Heechul: is really tired of heechul’s antics, finds them amusing tho
> 
>  
> 
> •Shindong > Yesung: they go out a lot and are really close friends, in fact he’s shindong’s closest friend 
> 
>  
> 
> •Shindong > Kangin: finds him troublesome sometimes, but enjoys his company 
> 
>  
> 
> •Shindong > Sungmin: are pretty close since they’re friends, but often bicker 
> 
>  
> 
> •Shindong > Eunhyuk: aside from yesung, he’s very close to hyukjae, both often have dance projects together
> 
>  
> 
> •Shindong > Siwon: likes siwon bc he’s a respectful junior and is very nice, still thinks he lost his marbles tho 
> 
>  
> 
> •Shindong > Donghae: they have an awkward relationship up until now even if its been a year
> 
>  
> 
> •Shindong > Ryeowook: tolerates his rudeness, is one of the only one who actually doesnt really care abt his rudeness
> 
>  
> 
> •Shindong > Kyuhyun: sort of awkward with him due to the fact of that he’s still in highschool


	9. subject: old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is jungsoo really that old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooo it's been a while 
> 
> enjoy this short update!

**legion of doom**

eunhyukee: good morninggg

 

shindh: hey hyukjae

 

shindh: so....care to tell us what happened yesterday?

 

lsungmin: ^

 

eunhyukee: oh

 

eunhyukee: well

 

eunhyukee: when hae broke the news i just bolted out of my seat

 

eunhyukee: i didnt know where i was running to but i just followed my instincts

 

yesung: he's obsessed with hae to the point where he has hae-instincts

 

eunhyukee: shut up i'm trying to tell a story here????

 

eunhyukee: anyway

 

eunhyukee: i found hae in the park by a river

 

eunhyukee: idk why he always does that when he's sad

 

heenim: thanks for looking after him

 

eunhyukee: well i

 

eunhyukee: it's only natural that i would

 

heenim: i mean it

 

heenim: so treat him well yeah?

 

eunhyukee: we aren't dating yet

 

eunhyukee: hae needs time

 

heenim: oh

 

teuk83: you sound awfully different

 

heenim: idk

 

heenim: i think i need to talk to hae

 

shindh: should we add hae back to the chat?

 

eunhyukee: maybe later

 

eunhyukee: can we change the subject?

 

henryl89: if it makes you comfortable yeah

 

henryl89: so like

 

henryl89: there's this freshman who's been tailing me around like a lost kid

 

ryeong: dont tell me it's mark

 

henryl89: yes its mark

 

ryeong: please dont yell at him

 

henryl89: he followed me into the bathroom STALL

 

ryeong: ik he's annoying but

 

ryeong: hIS EYES

 

ryeong: HE'S SO CUTE

 

chokyu: is he now

 

lsungmin: HE IS

 

lsungmin: mark's a freshman but he looks like a baby

 

lsungmin: while kyu's a high school kid but he looks old as shit

 

chokyu: i will end you

 

kimkangin: you cant deny facts kyuhyun

 

chokyu: yeah??? you're one to talk, old man

 

siwonchoi: If anyone's an old man it's jungsoo

 

teuk83: what have i done to you all

 

teuk83: is no one acknowledging the fact that heechul's a few days younger than i am and no one's calling him old?

 

chokyu: dude it's not the age

 

chokyu: it's the fact that you act like an old man

 

shindh: ^

 

teuk83: i???dont???act???like???an old man????

 

teuk83: do you not remember my 21st birthday party????

 

yesung: which was a century ago

 

yesung: you aged like, 20 years within a year

 

teuk83: wha

 

chokyu: see

 

**chokyu changed teuk83's name to old man jungsoo.**

old man jungsoo: change it back

 

chokyu: do it yourself lmao

 

ryeong: he's never gonna make it

 

old man jungsoo: watch me

 

kimkangin: pity the poor old man, kyu

 

chokyu: hm

 

chokyu: no

 

chokyu: btw when are we kicking out henry and zhou mi

 

zhouzhoumi: do we not mean anything to you at all?

 

chokyu: hm

 

chokyu: no

 

zhouzhoumi: :(

 

henryl89: you made him sad

 

chokyu: he's a grown ass man

 

zhouzhoumi: grown ass men get sad too!!!

 

kimkangin: what am i reading

 

zhouzhoumi: facts

 

kimkangin: can we hurry and kick them out already

 

henryl89: nOOOO

 

henryl89: you guys are my only friends :(

 

kimkangin: you have mark

 

henryl89: he's a cute kid but no

 

ryeong: DON'T YELL AT HIM

 

henryl89: I'M NOT GOING TO???

 

eunhyukee: ryeowook he's the same age as you are stop treating him like a kid

 

ryeong: ok but he looks like a kid

 

eunhyukee: that's

 

eunhyukee: true actually

 

shindh: so

 

shindh: i have a proposition

 

eunhyukee: shoot

 

shindh: donghae's birthday is coming up right

 

eunhyukee: i'm in

 

shindh: i haven't even gotten to the details yet-

 

eunhyukee: i SAID WHAT I SAID

 

old man jungsoo: just ignore him and continue

 

shindh: let's take him out somewhere since it's been a pretty shit week for him

 

eunhyukee: holy shit i'm so in

 

lsungmin: ok but that's really sweet of you

 

yesung: shindong is no longer the man he used to be i'm so proud of him

 

heenim: here i thought you hated him omg

 

chokyu: same

 

ryeong: you proved all of us wrong

 

shindh: shut up

 

kimkangin: just accept it shindong

 

siwonchoi: you're a nice person but i've always thought you didn't like him but wow i change my mind

 

old man jungsoo: aww donghee is so sweet

 

shindh: shut up (2)

 

yesung: you're a fluffy man aren't you

 

shindh: how much do i have to pay for you to delete your account

 

zhouzhoumi: we'll be kicked out of the group by then but can i come along

 

heenim: no

 

shindh: yes

 

shindh: heechul pls

 

heenim: fine. just you.

 

heenim: but not henry

 

henryl89: oh come on

 

old man jungsoo: :/

 

heenim: turn that frown upside down babe

 

old man jungsoo: wha

 

chokyu: i see you're still trying to get into his pants huh

 

heenim: you have a problem with that???

 

chokyu: i don't trust you

 

siwonchoi: gentlemen, please

 

heenim: chill wonnie, what can he do to me

 

chokyu: nskjfnsfkjs

 

henryl89: haha he's got you cornered

 

chokyu: i know where you live

 

henryl89: calm down edgelord

 

old man jungsoo: it's so endearing to see him act threatening

 

chokyu: 'act'????????

 

old man jungsoo: uh isn't that what you're doing?

 

chokyu: wtf no

 

eunhyukee: kdfnsifu I'M SCREAMING WHY IS THIS FUNNY TO ME

 

heenim: jungsoo's being dense and kyuhyun's being edgy nothing new here

 

old man jungsoo: I'M NOT DENSE

 

lsungmin: 'I'M NOT DENSE' my ass

 

kimkangin: we get it. you have the best ass here

 

lsungmin: i never said that but thanks

 

eunhyukee: WRONG

 

eunhyukee: it's donghae

 

chokyu: ^

 

eunhyukee: fUCK OFF

 

chokyu: I'M AGREEING WITH YOU DUMBASS

 

eunhyukee: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO

 

chokyu: fine i hate donghae's crusty ass

 

eunhyukee: THE AUDACITY HOW DARE YOU????

 

chokyu: ?????WHAT

 

ryeong: no actually siwon has the best ass

 

siwonchoi: what

 

zhouzhoumi: why are we debating about this

 

henryl89: who knows

 

**old man jungsoo has added donghey to the group.**

donghey: helloooo

 

donghey: sorry about yesterday:(

 

lsungmin: noooo it's fine

 

lsungmin: can we still beat his ass though

 

donghey: NO

 

ryeong: welcome back!

 

donghey: heyyy

 

chokyu: shit

 

chokyu: please don't scroll up

 

donghey: ????

 

eunhyukee: SCROLL UP AND SEE WHAT HE SAID ABOUT YOUR ASS

 

chokyu: NO

 

donghey: crusty huh

 

ryeong: NKJDSFNKSJ

 

chokyu: well would you look at the time

 

**chokyu has left the group.**

donghey: what

 

**23:46**

old man jungsoo: guys please how do i change my username

 

henryl89: jungsoo it's 11

 

old man jungsoo: i can read the time thank you

 

henryl89: :\

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i'm gonna start using pictures again next chapter!  
> sorry for the short chapter, i'm still veryyy busyyyy  
> good news is that i'm almost done with 1 painting so 2 more to go and 9 more days until i have to turn them in :)))
> 
> twt: @/repiayminho; cc: tohoshimkis; ig: tohoshimki; tumblr: pettyhae 
> 
> now sungmin
> 
> •Sungmin > Jungsoo: both are ageing fast bc of the gc
> 
>  
> 
> •Sungmin > Heechul: can be really bitchy with each other 
> 
>  
> 
> •Sungmin > Yesung: is annoyed by yesung questioning his taste in fashion 
> 
>  
> 
> •Sungmin > Kangin: thinks he needs to lessen his alcohol 
> 
>  
> 
> •Sungmin > Shindong: close friends since they’re the same age, often bicker abt sungmin being an 86 liner and shindong being an 85 liner 
> 
>  
> 
> •Sungmin > Eunhyuk: are pretty close with each other, sungmin always stands up for him
> 
>  
> 
> •Sungmin > Siwon: also thinks he lost his marbles 
> 
>  
> 
> •Sungmin > Donghae: thinks he’s cute but is annoyed by his thickheadedness 
> 
>  
> 
> •Sungmin > Ryeowook: one of the only ones who doesn’t mind his rudeness, are in fact pretty close with each other
> 
>  
> 
> •Sungmin > Kyuhyun: jokes that he looks old but is actually jealous of his more youthful looks since sungmin is growing old


	10. subject: hashtag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #downwithheechul 
> 
> or
> 
> heechul and jungsoo being bad with their feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got my laptop fixed yayyy 
> 
> i'd also like to address an issue. so 2 days ago someone told me that they found an svt fic that was similar to this fic word by word. the fic may or may not have been taken down already since me and said person who told me were unable to find it again. can anyone confirm the existence of that svt chat fic? i cannot say much on the issue since i didn't see it for myself. 
> 
> no pics this chapter bc im too tired to look for them :(
> 
> EDIT: I forgot kyu left the group before so i had to edit that in! sorry for that!

 

**the legion of doom**

 

**heenim has added chokyu to the group.**

chokyu: thank you jesus

 

heenim: only bc im nice

 

donghey: is my ass still crusty kyu

 

chokyu: dsknfsdjfskd fu ck off

 

heenim: alright it’s time for henry and zhou mi to leave now

 

zhouzhoumi: already????

 

henryl89: :”(

 

**heenim has changed the group name to ‘#henryout’.**

henryl89: why

 

zhouzhoumi: lmaoooo I’m safe

 

heenim: #watchyourbacks

 

zhouzhoumi: #downwithheechul

 

**lsungmin has changed the group name to ‘#downwithheechul’.**

 

lsungmin: #justiceforhenry

 

henryl89: #imwithsungmin

 

heenim: #youropinionsaintshit

 

lsungmin: #suckadickheechul

 

heenim: I would if he would let me—

 

lsungmin: nasty

 

chokyu: brb bleaching my eyes

 

heenim: im not talking abt ur cousin jesus

 

chokyu: I don’t recall having a cousin named jesus

 

old man jungsoo: uh

 

heenim: this guy on this dating app

 

heenim: is hot as shit

 

chokyu: I thought u were serious with jungsoo wtf

 

old man jungsoo: about that…

 

heenim: I may or may not have scared ur cousin a lil and he needs time

 

lsungmin: whatd u do to him omg

 

heenim: I told him to meet my parents with me lol

 

lsungmin: wait so are you guys dating or???

 

old man jungsoo: no

 

heenim: not yet

 

lsungmin: I’m confused

old man jungsoo: everything’s complicated

 

heenim: exactly

 

ryeong: do you guys actually like each other for real?

 

old man jungsoo: idk. maybe. or not.

 

heenim: depends

 

yesung: you’re not making much sense but ok

 

shindh: well those two keeps flirting with each other in the gc but get shy once you ask about it lmao

 

donghey: ^

 

eunhyukee: is the being chul’s fake boyfriend thing still a thing?

 

heenim: well we never really executed the plan

 

heenim: i just kept sending my mom pics of jungsoo

 

old man jungsoo: what he said

 

lsungmin: so there’s nothing between you two??? the fuck

 

heenim: i guess not

 

old man jungsoo: no

 

chokyu: uh yeah i don’t want to pry anymore

 

ryeong: that’s new. youre not acting irrationally animalistic when it comes to heechul and your cousin

 

chokyu: i’ve always been a sophisticated member of the society wdym

 

ryeong: lol^

 

kimkangin: ‘sophisticated member of the society’ do you mean literally everyone here?

 

chokyu: uh

 

chokyu: i wouldn’t really include you

 

**[DM] teuk83 and heenim.**

 

heenim: so uhhhh

 

heenim: do you actually like ‘like’ me or are you just playing along?

 

teuk83: it’s complicated

 

heenim: i mean you did say you kinda dig me

 

teuk83: sort of. not explicitly.

 

heenim: you’re bad at covering up your lies lmao

 

heenim: you’re basically holding neon signs saying that you like me lmao

 

heenim: since when though?

 

teuk83: i…never said i liked you?

 

heenim: did you now

 

teuk83: yeah what makes you think i have a crush on you rn

 

heenim: uh you said you dig me just less than a minute ago

 

teuk83: well i dig you but i wouldn’t date you per se

 

heenim: oh

 

heenim: is that so

 

teuk83: you seem more interested in that hangeng guy anyway…

 

heenim: the really hot guy on tinder?

 

heenim: i guess you could say so

 

teuk83: …

 

heenim: …

 

heenim: well sorry for troubling you with the fake dating thing

 

teuk83: it’s okay

 

heenim: so we’re pretending that never happened then?

 

teuk83: i guess so?

 

heenim: cant believe youre throwing it away just like that

 

teuk83: well why do you care?? isn’t it just a thing to make your mom think that your love life is all okay?

 

heenim: i mean i wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings either

 

teuk83: why would my feelings be hurt if i don’t like you that way???

 

heenim: i assumed you like me alright

 

teuk83: that’s a bit cocky of you

 

heenim: that’s how i am

 

teuk83: you need a reality check

 

heenim: lol jungsoo getting brave here

 

teuk83: watch it

 

**#downwithheechul**

**old man jungsoo changed their name to teuk83.**

chokyu: congrats old man!!!

 

teuk83: mhm

 

chokyu: what happened

 

teuk83: why would you assume anything happened

 

chokyu: you’re less responsive than usual

 

teuk83: i’m always like that though?

 

lsungmin: remember when you yelled at all of us abt the supermarket incident?

 

teuk83: any sane person would be bursting through the roof over that one

 

siwonchoi: actually that’s true

 

lsungmin: right

 

chokyu: remind me to never shop with any of you all again

 

lsungmin: remind me why we know you in the first place

 

donghey: my 19th birthday remember???

 

ryeong: no i don’t

 

donghey: :/

 

donghey: you were in high school back then ofc you wouldn’t know

 

donghey: jungsoo brought him along bc he was supposed to be babysitting him

 

chokyu: gdi i wasn’t a kid back then shut up

 

donghey: so instead of doing the wild things we ended up seated on the floor playing charades for whatever reason

 

siwonchoi: Jungsoo was insistent about it

 

siwonchoi: and now we know why….

 

eunhyukee: yeah what the hell jungsoo why didn’t you tell us he was basically a child

 

shindh: we almost gave him beer lol

 

teuk83: ….i didn’t think of that

 

chokyu: is bc my face looked old

 

ryeong: does it run in your family or smth

 

chokyu: i will step on you

 

henryl89: why do we even know him

 

zhouzhoumi: i mean jungsoo did bring him to campus sometimes

 

kimkangin: ‘take your child to work day’

 

eunhyukee: LMAOOOO

 

ryeong: the child looks like his mom took his Nintendo DS away and he’s stuck in an eternal temper tantrum

 

chokyu: ew no one uses that anymore. it’s either the 3ds or death

 

heenim: this is switch erasure

 

zhouzhoumi: does anyone even remember the wii u

 

heenim: the what now

 

eunhyukee: losers

 

eunhyukee: ps4 all the way

 

heenim: you and your 2 ps4 games can shut up

 

eunhyukee: they’re expensive as hell dammit im a broke college student i need to pay my rents

 

lsungmin: you live with your parents,,

 

henryl89: anyways

 

henryl89: it’s been nice while it lasted

 

lsungmin: omg

 

lsungmin: are you voluntarily removing yourself from this group?

 

heenim: doing god’s work huh

 

henryl89: :/

 

henryl89: anyway it’s been nice but thanks for making us feel welcome

 

zhouzhoumi: if you don’t count heechul

 

heenim: hey i let y’all in here be grateful

 

chokyu: wow im kinda sad now

 

zhouzhoumi: don’t be sad!! :)

 

chokyu: :((

 

shindh: a vulnerable kyuhyun…what a rare sight

 

zhouzhoumi: welp bbye then

 

henryl89: see you around in campus

 

**zhouzhoumi has left the group.**

**henryl89 has left the group.**

 

heenim: well

 

heenim: i’ll definitely add them back sometimes just to annoy them

 

kimkangin: just say you’ll miss them lmao

 

lsungmin: good grief it’s not like they’re moving out of our university

 

siwonchoi: Exactly.

 

siwonchoi: Now has anyone seen a Choi Sooyoung in their area

 

eunhyukee: what do you want from her

 

siwonchoi: uhh asking her out?

 

eunhyukee: wasn’t she the one who decked you in the face bc you grabbed her books out of nowhere and told her you’d carry them for her

 

heenim: stay away from her creep

 

siwonchoi: ??????

 

siwonchoi: well the bruise was pretty nasty.

 

donghey: bc you deserved it lmaooo

 

siwonchoi: wow why doesn’t anyone want to go out with me

 

donghey: wait why not?

 

donghey: you’re hot right?

 

siwonchoi: oh so you’d date me then?

 

eunhyukee: yeah no he won’t

 

donghey: actually i wouldn’t mind—

 

eunhyukee: yes you would

 

siwonchoi: ???

 

ryeong: omg this is so painful to read

 

yesung: dkjbfsjkfjs this is hopeless

 

yesung: date me instead

 

siwonchoi: you want my money right

 

yesung: duh

 

siwonchoi: wow

 

yesung: ofc not i’m not that shameless ya doof

 

shindh: i thought we established that we can’t use that kind of humor with siwon

 

kimkangin: in fact don’t joke with him either. the secondhand embarrassment that follow actually hurts me physically

 

yesung: you’re overreacting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heechul and jungsoo are bad with feelings 
> 
> sooo that's the end of henry and zhou mi for a while! they left a bit rushed and sudden :( theyll make some small cameos later on dont worry!
> 
> twt: repiayminho; ig: tohoshimki; cc: tohoshimkis 
> 
> now hyukjaeee
> 
> •Eunhyuk > Jungsoo: are sometimes mistaken as the same person 
> 
>  
> 
> •Eunhyuk > Heechul: always speak to each other with a sarcastic tone, cannot hold a serious convo 
> 
>  
> 
> •Eunhyuk > Yesung: easing picks on him a lot and he pathetically fights back against him to no avail 
> 
>  
> 
> •Eunhyuk > Kangin: wouldn’t want to ride the same car with him
> 
>  
> 
> •Eunhyuk > Shindong: also close friends, they have dance projects together 
> 
>  
> 
> •Eunhyuk > Sungmin: are very close friends, are also neighbours 
> 
>  
> 
> •Eunhyuk > Siwon: is paranoid that donghae is interested in him
> 
>  
> 
> •Eunhyuk > Donghae: i think it’s pretty obvious lmao 
> 
>  
> 
> •Eunhyuk > Ryeowook: is constantly bullied by him 
> 
>  
> 
> •Eunhyuk > Kyuhyun: they bully each other as equals, he didn’t know kyu was in high school until the big revelation


	11. subject: problematic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dramama ramama ramama hey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda fucked up with eunsihae's ages here but im too tired to change it nsjdks 
> 
> it's been a really long time damn. the exhibition's next week so im pretty much done with my work so i can finally update again hehe 
> 
> not much to say here but enjoy + thanks for the comments and kudos!

**the legion of doom**

chokyu: hell

 

chokyu: o

 

teuk83: oh stop being so dramatic it’s only for 3 days

 

eunhyukee: what’s going on

 

teuk83: kyu is on a study trip and he’s rooming with a kid he hates

 

chokyu: i’m not being dramatic !!!

 

eunhyukee: chill kyu, i know how you feel

 

eunhyukee: i had to room with this one guy back in high school, he keeps taking a piss every 5 minutes at night

 

chokyu: oh but mine’s even WORSE

 

kimkangin: well how is he worse than that

 

chokyu: i think

 

chokyu: he hates me???

 

lsungmin: so it’s mutual hatred?

 

chokyu: no he hates me

 

chokyu: so i have no other choice but to hate him as well

 

ryeong: and you don’t even know why he hates you…?

 

chokyu: uh

 

heenim: maybe he likes you

 

chokyu: PSSHHH no he doesn’t

 

chokyu: he looks straight

 

shindh: how does one ‘look straight’ ?

 

chokyu: good question

 

heenim: send a picture

 

heenim: i’ll be the judge of it

 

chokyu: ok hold on

 

chokyu:

 

ryeong: wow kyuhyun’s secretly a fansite

 

chokyu: you are missing THE POINT

 

heenim: wow

 

chokyu: so???

 

heenim: i have no idea

 

chokyu: useless

 

heenim: :3

 

siwonchoi: That shirt…

 

chokyu: apparently his mates got it for him as a joke

 

chokyu: but he wears it all the time

 

chokyu: unironically may i add

 

eunhyukee: i doubt that

 

eunhyukee: he’s shim changmin right? he’s not dumb

 

chokyu: wait how’d you know him

 

eunhyukee: isn’t his dad a teacher or something

 

yesung: yes

 

yesung: describe how he treats you

 

yesung: i’ll be the judge of his feelings towards you

 

yesung: unlike heechul, you can put your trust on me

 

heenim: k john

 

chokyu: so there are two beds in the room right

 

chokyu: he literally pushed his bed to the far corner of the room

 

chokyu: and sleeps with his back facing me???

 

chokyu: you cant see it physically but it’s making me feel a n x i o u s

 

donghey: why do you care abt what he thinks of you ???

 

chokyu: because i just do

 

shindh: you sure you don’t like the guy?

 

chokyu: lmao no

 

ryeong: then ignore him

 

ryeong: you won’t remember him when you graduate anyway

 

yesung: *tragic backstory detected*

 

yesung: maybe it could be the reason behind your bitchy attitude

 

ryeong: damn right it is

 

yesung: omg

 

yesung: how to unlock

 

ryeong: you don’t

 

shindh: it’d be good to know one day

 

heenim: damn why does everyone here have problems

 

yesung: we’re a problematic bunch

 

lsungmin: are we?

 

teuk83: …

 

teuk83: mayhaps

 

siwonchoi: I dunno….

 

kimkangin: …

 

yesung: ^he’s the worst

 

kimkangin: fuck you

 

yesung: n o t h an ks

 

lsungmin: now now, we’re all problematic in our own ways

 

lsungmin: such as donghae and hyukjae’s tragic love story

 

donghey: hey rude!!

 

eunhyukee: ur one to talk sungmin

 

lsungmin: when you grow a pair and confess then you can say that

 

eunhyukee: :/

 

lsungmin: i’m by far the least problematic person here

 

ryeong: hello

 

lsungmin: no not you

 

siwonchoi: What about me?

 

yesung: when you stop asking sooyoung to carry her books when she ain’t even carrying anything

 

donghey: jongwoon’s not problematic??

 

ryeong: are we forgetting the supermarket incident…

 

yesung: first of all i had a reason to throw hands that moment

 

donghey: ok so we’re all a little problematic and that’s fine!

 

chokyu: mhmmmm

 

chokyu: changmin just gave me the stink eye difkjnsefu;w

 

heenim: how sure were you when you said you don’t like him that way?

 

chokyu: 100% sure

 

lsungmin: doesn’t he have a crush on one of us

 

donghey: ewwww he’s a kid

 

lsungmin: no one in this group wants to date him dumbass

 

shindh: it’s just a harmless crush…

 

chokyu: sTOP

 

eunhyukee: don’t feel embarrassed we all crush on older people at some point

 

eunhyukee: i remember proposing to my kindergarten teacher back then

 

eunhyukee: i used a cheezel as an engagement ring

 

chokyu: what’s a cheezel….

 

yesung: hoo boy

 

eunhyukee: uncultured nerd smh

 

eunhyukee: by any chance is it ryeowook

 

chokyu: tf noooo

 

chokyu: nooooooo

 

ryeong: mhm sure honey

 

donghey: i thought you liked me??

 

eunhyukee: well him moving on was the right decision

 

donghey: i feel so unloved

 

eunhyukee: WOW DON’T WE ALL

 

eunhyukee: YOU’D FEEL LESS UNLOVED IF YOU

 

eunhyukee: I DON’T KNOW

 

eunhyukee: LOOK AROUND

 

yesung: he SNAPPED

 

donghey: ???ok

 

chokyu: and here i thought siwon was dense

 

siwonchoi: i’m not dense??

 

lsungmin: sooyoung decking him the face was an understandable action and i support her

 

heenim: ^

 

heenim: btw what date is tomorrow

 

eunhyukee: the 13th …why?

 

heenim: oh nothing

 

shindh: oh man

 

shindh: me and my loud mouth

 

donghey: what???

 

kimkangin: sorry hae

 

**kimkangin has removed donghey from the group.**

kimkangin: go wild

 

shindh: I DIDN’T THINK YOU ALL WOULD REMEMBER BKDKFJS

 

yesung: yEET TOO LATE

 

yesung: do we pull a jungsoo’s 21st bday party?

 

eunhyukee: NOO

 

eunhyukee: spare him

 

eunhyukee: pls

 

yesung: would he kill us if we threw him a party at mcdonald’s

 

yesung: y’know, with the balloons and ppl in costumes

 

shindh: yes

 

lsungmin: he can be a pretty dangerous man if he wants to be

 

chokyu: well we could always go out together

 

heenim: boring

 

heenim: he’s turning 20 right

 

eunhyukee: yep

 

heenim: HM

 

teuk83: well i’d suggest nothing too wild…

 

heenim: here comes mr. killjoy

 

teuk83: don’t be petty

 

teuk83: i don’t want you all to do anything stupid

 

heenim: well you did a lot of dumb things for someone trying to sound wise

 

shindh: uh can you guys not do that here?

 

lsungmin: …did something happen?

 

heenim: none of your business

 

heenim: guess am gonna have to take the date offer after all haha:)

 

heenim: my mom was pretty upset to hear that im not longer with the boy with the cute dog

 

teuk83: as if it’s any of my business

 

lsungmin: you know what

 

lsungmin: take this somewhere else

 

**lsungmin has removed heenim and teuk83 from the group.**

shindh: our lord and savior, lee sungmin

 

yesung: hallelujah

 

**yesung has changed lsungmin’s name to jesus.**

jesus: what the fuck

 

eunhyukee: embrace it

 

jesus: fuck no change it back before siwon starts having an aneurysm

 

kimkangin: the what now

 

**[DM] teuk83 and heenim**

heenim: look what you did now the kids cant even stand us

 

teuk83: oh so it’s my fault now?

 

heenim: you AND your indecisive ass

 

heenim: you hurt my mom’s feelings too you know

 

teuk83: it wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t come up with the whole fake dating bs

 

heenim: shut the fuck up you agreed to it

 

teuk83: LMAO what else was I supposed to do?

 

teuk83: you sent her MY picture so i’m basically doing this against my will

 

teuk83: i have every right to react this way

 

heenim: i thought you were my friend

 

teuk83: well nothing lasts forever right

 

heenim: this is stupid. we can’t break our friendship because of one little thing

 

teuk83: but it’s not some little thing

 

teuk83: you never took us seriously anyway

 

heenim: it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously??

 

teuk83: so what am i really

 

**heenim has blocked teuk83.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woops
> 
> •Siwon > Jungsoo: are very supportive of each other. suspects jungsoo is uneasy sometimes 
> 
>  
> 
> •Siwon > Heechul: would rather not interact much with him due to many reasons, but still good friends 
> 
>  
> 
> •Siwon > Yesung: thinks he actually wants his money 
> 
>  
> 
> •Siwon > Kangin: they often drive around town together 
> 
>  
> 
> •Siwon > Shindong: are good friends, shindong likes to record siwon at random times 
> 
>  
> 
> •Siwon > Sungmin: he likes to pinch sungmin’s cheeks 
> 
>  
> 
> •Siwon > Eunhyuk: is curious why hyukjae keeps giving him the stink eye 
> 
>  
> 
> •Siwon > Donghae: thinks he’s cute but wouldn’t date him 
> 
>  
> 
> •Siwon > Ryeowook: oblivious towards wook’s malicious words towards him 
> 
>  
> 
> •Siwon > Kyuhyun: likes to ruffle his hair a lot when they meet
> 
>  
> 
> yell at me on twt @repiayminho or at my cc tohoshimkis or my ig @tohoshimki


	12. subject: revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the rest of the guys try to fix things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY IT'S BEEN A WHILE 
> 
> sorry if i dont reply to all comments! sometimes idk what to reply but im really grateful for all the comments! 
> 
> so i made a superhero au eunhae fic, it's a long oneshot but im still doubtful abt posting it since it might flop (?) it was supposed to be posted along with this chap but i post-poned it since its not done yet. 
> 
> anyway, we hit 4000 hits! woop! thanks for reading everyone! 
> 
> so here we gooo

**jesus has changed the group name to ‘jobless whores’.**

**jobless whores**

 

 

jesus: so teukchul’s cooking drama i want no part of

 

jesus: what have you all been up to

 

eunhyukee: should we add hae back

 

yesung: right

 

**yesung has added donghey to the group.**

donghey: omg guys

 

donghey: i saw jongwoon today and i wanted to call him over

 

donghey: and i forgot calling jongwoon ‘johnny’ was just an ‘us’ thing

 

donghey: and i yelled johnny out loud in the hallways dsiksjndfs

 

donghey: the real johnny looked so shocked

 

donghey: he looked like he was about to piss himself oml sdfknsdf

 

jesus: wow donghae abusing his power as a senior

 

yesung: lmaoooo

 

yesung: rip

 

shindh: not to be a killjoy but

 

shindh: shouldn’t we do something about

 

shindh: y’know

 

kimkangin: lmao no

 

shindh: why not

 

kimkangin: they’re grown ass men they can handle it themselves

 

eunhyukee: except these grown ass men have a mentality of self-righteous 13 year olds who throw temper tantrums to solve their own problems

 

jesus: that’s very specific of you

 

ryeong: both of them are dumb and they just need a little push.

 

ryeong: not like we’re dressing up as cupids and make them fall in love and get married or smth

 

siwonchoi: i would’ve volunteered to be the cupid

 

ryeong: i’ll do myself favor and burn my eyes if it were to happen

 

yesung: so who’s in charge with those two gone?

 

eunhyukee: obviously me

 

yesung: uh im the oldest here?

 

kimkangin: i thought i was the established father of the group?

 

chokyu: lmao would that make heechul the crazy vodka aunt

 

eunhyukee: aren’t you supposed to be on a study trip rn

 

eunhyukee: how are things with the shim kid?

 

chokyu: O H YEAH

 

chokyu: funny story

 

chokyu: apparently the reason why he’s always looking at me like that was bc he’s shy like

 

chokyu: omg that’s rlly cute ok

 

chokyu: and he just approached me this morning and poured out his feelings to me??? i’ve never felt so special before in my life???

 

chokyu: i want to adopt him he’s a huge softie i love him

 

eunhyukee: …

 

donghey: so,,,,you like him huh?

 

chokyu: nO NOT THAT WAY

 

chokyu: idk i want to befriend him

 

chokyu: or maybe i do kinda like him???idk

 

chokyu: i rlly don’t know what im into rlly

 

eunhyukee: but your crush…?

 

chokyu: t b h i feel like it’s more of an admiration crush but who knows

 

ryeong: time’s a tickin are we done yet

 

chokyu: rude bitch im talking

 

ryeong: uwu

 

ryeong: can we hurry fix heechul and jungsoo’s hot mess before it gets worse?

 

yesung: uh.they’ve always been a hot mess?

 

yesung: but yeah you’re right

 

yesung: it’s only the matter of time before this gc spirals out of control without jungsoo

 

siwonchoi: soo how do we do this?

 

jesus: simple

 

jesus: we invite one of them back and interrogate the hell out of them

 

ryeong: idk about that

 

ryeong: let’s just make 2 separate groups and interrogate them there

 

ryeong: so who wants to take heechul?

 

yesung: …

 

kimkangin: …

 

eunhyukee: …

 

donghey: …

 

jesus: …

 

chokyu: …

 

shindh: …

 

siwonchoi: …

 

ryeong: oh come on

 

eunhyukee: i vote donghae

 

donghey: how could you throw me to the devil himself ?????

 

eunhyukee: dude he’s whipped for you like

 

eunhyukee: you’re practically his kid

 

donghey: well

 

donghey: you’re not wrong

 

eunhyukee: good boy

 

chokyu: ^ are you seeing this folks

 

eunhyukee: now

 

eunhyukee: who else

 

chokyu: i’m obviously taking Jungsoo

 

eunhyukee: same

 

eunhyukee: heechul can’t even stand my presence lmao

 

kimkangin: siwon and I should take Jungsoo as well

 

shindh: i don’t think heechul dislikes me that much so im taking him

 

chokyu: tbh i don’t think he hates us, he’s just a bit…expressive

 

jesus: ^

 

ryeong: ok then jongwoon, sungmin, donghae, donghee and i will take heechul

 

eunhyukee: no offense wook i don’t think you’re fit for that job

 

ryeong: oh relax

 

ryeong: he doesn’t hate me

 

donghey: let me spill smth

 

donghey: heechul is s*ft for all of us he just likes ur hostile reactions towards him when he acts bratty he he he

 

siwonchoi: somehow that’s not surprising

 

kimkangin: i actually think he hates you in a way

 

siwonchoi: :^/

 

eunhyukee: again with the nose…

 

ryeong: okay move out!

 

**ryeong has created a group.**

**ryeong has added shindh, donghey, yesung, lsungmin, and heenim to the group.**

**ryeong has named the group ‘btr fanboys XD uwu’**

donghey: DON’T DRAG BIG TIME RUSH’S NAME LIKE THAT !!!

 

heenim: what

 

heenim: what’s this

 

heenim: i mean i liked that james guy but i don’t think im that big of a fan,,,

 

ryeong: ok let’s cut to the chase

 

ryeong: what happened between you and Jungsoo

 

ryeong: dont try to leave idk where you live but i will find you

 

heenim: woah calm down liam neeson

 

heenim: first how dare you bring donghae into it?? he doesn’t deserve this

 

donghey: actually i volunteered to do this

 

heenim: seems like you’ve fallen to the dark side

 

heenim: did hyukjae do this to you

 

donghey: why you gotta bring him up all the time :/

 

heenim: cause he fuckin likes you???

 

donghey: i mean so do i but does it look like i’ll have the balls to admit it? :(

 

yesung: wait WHAT

 

lsungmin: FFS DON’T GO OFF TOPIC

 

lsungmin: KIM HEECHUL

 

lsungmin: WHAT DID YOU DO TO JUNGSOO

 

heenim: :/

 

heenim: fine i’ll tell you the deets but im not letting you solve my problems for me

 

heenim: deal?

 

shindh: hmm

 

yesung: well at least we’ll know what’s going on on the bright side ?

 

ryeong: eh

 

ryeong: i guess so

 

heenim: let me guess

 

heenim: the others are dealing with Jungsoo?

 

shindh: obviously

 

heenim: be warned that he’s harder to deal with than i am

 

heenim: i’m pretty open abt my problems but jungsoo’s hard to crack open lol

 

shindh: we’re aware

 

shindh: now tell us

 

heenim: so remember when my mom asked me abt my love life?

 

heenim: i actually lied

 

yesung: OH MY GOD

 

yesung: YOU TRICKED JUNGSOO INTO GETTING INVOLVED WITH YOU ROMANTICALLY

 

yesung: that’s shitty

 

heenim: IT WAS PARTIALLY TRUE THO

 

heenim: my mom kept bringing up this one girl she knows who’s around my age

 

heenim: she didn’t imply i have to get together with her but she gave that _look_

 

shindh: i get it

 

yesung: :/

 

donghey: it’s wrong to do such a thing though…

 

ryeong: unfortunately jungsoo’s also hopelessly in love with him

 

heenim: wait

 

heenim: really?

 

ryeong: yeah

 

ryeong: uh he told me through dms

 

ryeong: after you blocked him??

 

heenim: shit

 

heenim: idk i was

 

heenim: so obsessed with putting on a good act? as if i treated the whole thing just to protect myself from whatever shenanigan my mom might put me into?

 

shindh: that’s pretty selfish of you though

 

shindh: like i get you want to be able to make your own decisions

 

shindh: but to treat Jungsoo like that…

 

lsungmin: no offense but i wouldn’t forgive you if i were Jungsoo

 

heenim: ik

 

heenim: i guess i should be apologizing to you all?

 

heenim: like you don’t have to forgive me since im basically apologizing for being a shitty person aka for being myself

 

yesung: hey we understand

 

yesung: people can be shitty

 

yesung: for example Donghae for abusing his power

 

donghey: HEY HEY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

 

heenim: what

 

shindh: you can chat later, finish the story chul

 

shindh: :/

 

lsungmin: ^

 

ryeong: continue

 

heenim: so i wasn’t really aware of jungsoo’s crush on me so i just kinda treating the whole things as a joke so he wouldn’t be suspicious of MY crush on him

 

lsungmin: im rolling my eyes so bad rn

 

heenim: yeah yeah

 

heenim: anyway

 

heenim: i guess he reached a point where he couldn’t stand it? which is understandable i guess

 

heenim: so we fought

 

heenim: and i got frustrated

 

heenim: so i blocked him

 

heenim: to be continued on next week’s episode of dragon ball z

 

ryeong: that was

 

ryeong: not as dramatic as i thought it’d be

 

heenim: i feel like im stuck in a high school concept pop punk music video

 

donghey: mcr isn’t pop punk,,,

 

heenim: i didn’t even mention mcr what

 

heenim: anyways

 

heenim: now you know the story

 

heenim: are we going to talk about james’ washboard abs now

 

shindh: well

 

yesung: you both are really dumb

 

yesung: we’re holding back the urge to fix it all up for the two of you

 

heenim: don’t

 

shindh: unfortunately it’s tempting

 

shindh: like

 

shindh: you two are frustrating

 

heenim: ikr?? even i say that to myself a lot

 

heenim: like the hot guy on tinder even told me to get my shit together

 

heenim: i’m tempted to fix this but like

 

heenim: verbally?

 

heenim: even if i unblock Jungsoo i doubt he’s going to answer me after what i pulled

 

yesung: yeah you should just meet him face to face

 

lsungmin: i second that

 

ryeong: verbal communication has always been the best solution

 

donghey: but how will you express to them that you’re feeling :/

 

shindh: we have...faces…

 

ryeong: good luck heechul

 

heenim: thanks…let’s hope he doesn’t drop kick me or smth haha

 

lsungmin: i doubt that.

 

**Some time later…**

**jobless whores**

yesung: OH MY GOD YALL

 

yesung: JUNGSOO JUST RIPPED HIS SHIRT OPEN AND TACKLED HEECHUL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COURTYARD

 

lsungmin: WHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, this is the legendary incheon battle in chat fic form haha 
> 
> we'll cover hyuk, kangin, siwon, and kyu's confrontation with teuk next chapter and what happens in between. 
> 
> so as usual: 
> 
> •Donghae > Jungsoo: Jungsoo dotes on him like a younger sibling
> 
>  
> 
> •Donghae > Heechul: Heechul’s kid basically 
> 
>  
> 
> •Donghae > Yesung: Are good friends, they take a lot of pictures together. 
> 
>  
> 
> •Donghae > Kangin: Aren’t that close, but have are pretty friendly, likes to shade each other tho. 
> 
>  
> 
> •Donghae > Shindong: Not really close, sorta awkward. 
> 
>  
> 
> •Donghae > Sungmin: Close friends but they don’t talk much in campus. 
> 
>  
> 
> •Donghae > Eunhyuk: Likes him but pretends to be oblivious about his feelings towards him 
> 
>  
> 
> •Donghae > Siwon: Thinks he’s cute and likes his amount of cash lmao. 
> 
>  
> 
> •Donghae > Ryeowook: Are pretty close and rarely fight. 
> 
>  
> 
> •Donghae > Kyuhyun: Thinks of him like a younger brother figure. 
> 
>  
> 
> cc: tohoshimkis, ig: @tohoshimki, twt: @repiayminho


	13. subject: delet this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a mess 2.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OF ALL I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR DELAYING THE UPDATE EVEN IF I SAID ID UPDATE IT LAST WEEK AND SUCH.
> 
> thanks to everyone who commented telling me to update, otherwise i may have never caved in and updated haha 
> 
> so not much going on lately. i may be going to wanna one's concert in my town tho. pray for me that i get tickets! 
> 
> i started stanning monsta x lately and even made a whole au on twitter haha 
> 
> alright so i hope you enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> also thanks for 5000+ hits!! <3 
> 
> i know i said i was gonna post an eunhae fic along with this update but i kinda rushed this chapter and had to get it up asap so i didnt have time to finish the eunhae fic! sorry im a mess
> 
> also next week is finals and i doubt i can get a chapter up anytime soon. wml!

**A Day Before…**

 

**eunhyukee has created a group chat.**

**eunhyukee has added siwonchoi, kimkangin, chokyu, and teuk83 to the chat.**

**eunhyukee has named the group ‘otaku forever! XD’.**

chokyu: next time leave the names to me

 

eunhyukee: shut up

 

teuk83: what

 

chokyu: before you think about leaving we have the building surrounded

 

teuk83: if you call slamming me against the sofa ‘surrounded’ i guess i cant argue with that

 

eunhyukee: good job kyuhyun

 

siwonchoi: i came up with the plan in case you’re wondering

 

kimkangin: i really don’t want anything to do with this

 

teuk83: huh

 

teuk83: well what do you want

 

teuk83: is it about donghae’s birthday?

 

eunhyukee: what no

 

eunhyukee: but if you think about giving him your 21st birthday treatment might as well forget it

 

teuk83: lollll

 

teuk83: so what’s this about

 

kimkangin: uh

 

kimkangin: so you and heechul

 

**teuk83 has left the group.**

**chokyu has added teuk83 to the group.**

**teuk83 has removed chokyu from the group.**

**teuk83 has left the group.**

eunhyukee: i somehow knew this was going to happen

 

**eunhyukee has added teuk83 and chokyu to the group.**

chokyu: i had to wrestle him wtf

 

teuk83: for a high school kid you sure had some power in you

 

chokyu: please

 

chokyu: i’m literally taller than you

 

siwonchoi: I’m taller than you though

 

chokyu: i’m smarter than you

 

eunhyukee: shut up or i’ll remove you both

 

kimkangin: i’m here you know

 

chokyu: we know

 

eunhyukee: where’s Jungsoo

 

chokyu: i’m sitting on his back

 

chokyu: probably suffocating as we speak

 

siwonchoi: Remove yourself from the old man

 

chokyu: i have my ass removed from the old man

 

teuk83: what the fuck do you all even want

 

kimkangin: kyu pissed you off that bad huh.

 

eunhyukee: he probs broke his back

 

eunhyukee: anyway

 

eunhyukee: your tension with heechul in the group made us awkward

 

teuk83: well there was a reason why we left

 

kimkangin: damn u so cold

 

teuk83: :)

 

siwonchoi: Why do I feel like he’s going to blow soon

 

eunhyukee: lmao ‘blow’

 

kimkangin: STOP WE HAVE MINORS HERE

 

chokyu: you’re being thoughtful for once

 

eunhyukee: i wasn’t even implying that dumb bitch

 

chokyu: anyways

 

chokyu: im guessing you’re not gonna tell us anything huh

 

teuk83: ^

 

chokyu: :/

 

chokyu: at least talk to him

 

siwonchoi: You’re kinda ruining the what we have in the gc you know

 

eunhyukee: omfg it’s only a gc

 

eunhyukee: there are other important things to worry about

 

kimkangin: such as?

 

eunhyukee: itll be so weird to see jungsoo and heechul apart in campus

 

eunhyukee: like

 

eunhyukee: they’re attached at the hip

 

siwonchoi: I see your point

 

eunhyukee: it is the point

 

eunhyukee: besides

 

eunhyukee: we know you like heechul cmon

 

kimkangin: and that heechul actually likes you too

 

teuk83: i don’t believe you

 

siwonchoi: We wouldn’t lie! He actually does like you!

 

teuk83: mhm

 

teuk83: as in, friend or brotherly type of like or Hyukjae liking Donghae type of like?

 

chokyu: obviously the latter

 

eunhyukee: why me

 

eunhyukee: heechul, jungsoo, and i aren’t the only ones crushing on each other in the gc thooo

 

chokyu: oh?

 

eunhyukee: anyways

 

eunhyukee: if youre not telling us anything, sungmin might since heechul’s pretty easy to crack

 

kimkangin: but you should probably talk to heechul as soon as possible

 

teuk83: must i

 

siwonchoi: Yes

 

eunhyukee: before it’s too late and too awkward for you two to be in the same room

 

chokyu: ^

 

teuk83: …

 

teuk83: fine

 

eunhyukee: huh that was easy

 

teuk83: but tomorrow

 

teuk83: i need to cool down right now

 

kimkangin: take all the time you need !!

 

teuk83: well

 

teuk83: i guess i’ll be going

 

eunhyukee: if you don’t have a civil conversation with him tomorrow you better square the fuck up

 

teuk83: ??

 

teuk83: alright

 

chokyu: we’ll add you back to the gc once you two settle things over

 

teuk83: can i make that a week then

 

chokyu: no you are talking to him tomorrow and that’s final

 

teuk83: fine

 

**teuk83 has left the group.**

 

**Present time.**

**jobless whores.**

lsungmin: OEFMWMWIO WFMUWF

 

eunhyukee: ME RN^

 

yesung: OMGSJHDFSDMAFHJEMNHUJ

 

donghey: I CANT BELIEVE

 

chokyu: FUCK I CANT BELIEVE IM NOT THERE TO WITNESS THIS HISTORIC EVENT

 

lsungmin: IS THAT ALL YOU CARE ABOUT

 

lsungmin: THE FUCKING COPS HAD TO PULL THEM APART

 

yesung: BUT ITSO FUNNYY SDHJKFMN

 

lsungmin: ITS NOT???

 

lsungmin: I CANT BELIEVE YOU ALL????

 

shindh: well

 

shindh: jungsoo’s one ripped dude i gotta say

 

ryeong: you’re

 

ryeong: not wrong

 

lsungmin: NDSJKFSDFNIKSLDFEWDMSKWF

 

kimkangin: should we

 

kimkangin: should we get them or something

 

donghey: update: they’re not in the station

 

donghey: but they’re definitely facing the dean rn

 

eunhyukee: shit

 

eunhyukee: do you think they’ll get kicked out

 

shindh: well there was no blood

 

shindh: but it was pretty brutal

 

shindh: idk who the hell called the cops but im glad they did

 

shindh: they looked so close to killing each other

 

kimkangin: well they’re probably gonna get kicked out

 

kimkangin: well the cops we’re kicked out of the campus i guess they weren’t needed after all

 

donghey: oh my gooood

 

yesung: ?

 

donghey: this may be my fault

 

eunhyukee: i doubt that

 

eunhyukee: if anything, its my fault

 

ryeong: uh sure it is

 

donghey: before we arrived @ campis i told heechul to break a leg but not jungsoo’s

 

eunhyukee: i told him to square tf up if he doesn’t have a convo with heechul but i didn’t mean it that way

 

ryeong: dumbass

 

ryeong: actually

 

ryeong: all four of them are

 

chokyu: for once i agree with you

 

kimkangin: same

 

lsunngmin: do you think

 

lsungmin: we should add them back after this?

 

shindh: depends

 

shindh: their relationship could be in an even worse position now lmao

 

yesung: well

 

yesung: you’re not wrong

 

yesung: but

 

yesung: did you see jungsoo breathing heavily without a shirt looking all threatening and shit njkafskjdf it was so fucking funny LMAOOOO

 

lsungmin: omg shut the fuck up

 

donghey: update: they just got out and jungsoo’s still shirtless

 

donghey: heechul looks LIVID

 

kimkangin: safe to say that they aren’t going back to the way they used to be before

 

ryeong: tragic.

 

chokyu: dammit

 

chokyu: i cant believe im saying this but i wish i was as old as you guys i wanted to see the whole thing go down :/

 

donghey: say no more

 

**donghey sent a video.**

chokyu: I LOVE YOU

 

lsungmin: DELETE THAT

 

donghey: LMAO NO

 

lsungmin: HEECHUL WILL KILL YOU

 

donghey: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HE LOVES ME UWU

 

eunhyukee: MIND YA BUSINESS @LSUNGMIN

 

lsungmin: BKDJFSKD FUCK OFF HYUKJAE

 

siwonchoi: What the fuck

 

kimkangin: wow

 

kimkangin: can i post it on twitter

 

lsungmin: bitch the fuck NO

 

siwonchoi: Ok I kinda feel bad for Sungmin

 

siwonchoi: Let’s not do anything with the video

 

ryeong: dammit

 

siwonchoi: What were you even planning to do with it

 

yesung: Two Twinks Play Rough With Each Other In Campus!

 

ryeong: LDSMFUHSJDKF LMAOOO

 

lsungmin: DELET

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cc: tohoshimkis   
> twt: tohoshimki  
> twt: @repiayminho (my jookyun au is on pinned if you want to read it uwu) 
> 
> •Ryeowook > Jungsoo: respects him a lot, until he fought heechul in the courtyard
> 
>  
> 
> • Ryeowook > Heechul: a mess. 
> 
>  
> 
> • Ryeowook > Yesung: are on good terms, surprisingly 
> 
>  
> 
> •Ryeowook > Kangin: enjoys burning him. 
> 
>  
> 
> •Ryeowook > Shindong: not much opinion on him, doesn’t jab at him much 
> 
>  
> 
> •Ryeowook > Sungmin: enjoys seeing him trying to take care of the ppl in the gc
> 
>  
> 
> •Ryeowook > Eunhyuk: likes to make fun of him because its funny. 
> 
>  
> 
> •Ryeowook > Siwon: questions his sanity the most.
> 
>  
> 
> •Ryeowook > Donghae: are good friends, sometimes appalled by him being so dense. 
> 
>  
> 
> •Ryeowook > Kyuhyun: treat each other as if theyre the same age.


	14. subject: jongwoon's tiny hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jongwoon gets himself in a predicament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW IT'S BEEN A MONTH
> 
> anyways, sorry for the late update and I'm sorry i can't reply to your comments:( but thank you so much to everyone who's read this??? icb it reached 6000 hits already 
> 
>  
> 
> I've been busy with exams and all that and i was on a vacation for a few days, but yeah i'm starting my final year soon so things might be a bit hectic 
> 
> I'll try to update this, the 2 tvxq fics, and my onho fic a lot this summer break. the chat fic's chapters will be slightly shorter but i'll try to update at least twice a week 
> 
> also stream I Want You!!! Don't sleep on I Want You !!!!

 

**jobless whores**

**chokyu:** so uh

 **chokyu:** does anyone know what happened to my cousin

 

 **eunhyukee:** you’re his cousin,,,aren’t you supposed to know

 

 **chokyu:** well i _am_ supposed to know :/

 **chokyu:** jungsoo’s not picking up my calls nor is he answering my messages

 

 **kimkangin:** i’m pretty sure he’s still in the office with heechul

 

 **siwonchoi:** When should we add them back tho

 

 **ryeong:** never

 

 **donghey:** whaaaaat why not

 

 **ryeong:** they’ve done nothing but ruin everything here

 

 **donghey:** true but rude

 **donghey:** but also you can’t ban our makers

 

 **ryeong:** our what now

 

 **donghey:** uhhh pretty sure heechul made this group and jungsoo kept it going strong hehe

 

 **ryeong:** they were also the cause of our downfall

 

 **lsungmin:** LETS NOT FIGHT

 **lsungmin:** ion wanna see wook and hae throw hands in the courtyard kjdbfksjd

 

 **chokyu:** shit ring me if that happens i NEED to see that

 

 **lsungmin:** DON’T ENCOURAGE THEM

 

 **chokyu:** you suck

 

 **siwonchoi:** Let’s not get in between them anymore,,,

 **siwonchoi:** We were the ones to fuel this fight anyways

 

 **kimkangin:** lmao i did nothing wrong

 

 **shindh: *** cough *

 

 **kimkangin:** die

 

 **lsungmin:** maybe it’s inevitable. maybe we were made to crash and burn altogether.

 

 **chokyu:** thank u for finally accepting ur fate

 

 **lsungmin:** i try

 

 **shindh:** uh aren’t we all supposed to be in class or smth

**eunhyukee:** nah

 **eunhyukee:** you shouldn’t be on ur phone if you care sooooo much about class ;(((

 

 **shindh:** what.

 

**ryeong has changed the group name to ‘jongwoon is a fool’.**

**ryeong has changed yesung’s name to jongfool.**

**eunhyukee:** dsiluknfslkjfwf LMAO

**ryeong:** jongwoon is a fool

 

 **chokyu:** explain

 

 **jongfool:** RYEOWOOK

 **jongfool:** dfilusndfuwufwe.

 

 **ryeong:** THE WHOLE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW UR CLOWNERY IM NOT SORRY AT ALL

 **ryeong:** SO WE WERE AT THE VENDING MACHINE AND MY SODA DIDN’T COME OUT

 

 **jongfool:** then you started cussing and hissing at the machine and I DID WHAT HAD TO BE DONE

 

 **ryeong:** ajdiufnoeusf how are you even typing that fast with one hand i cant

 

 **eunhyukee:** DON’T TELL ME HE SHOVED HIS HAND INTO THE PORT OMG

 

 **ryeong:** MORE LIKE HE SHOVED AN ENTIRE ARM BECAUSE “but Ryeowook i have tiny hands trust me!1!!1!!! uwu!!1!1”

 **ryeong:** fuck his small hands

 

 **jongfool:** I DON’T TALK LIKE THAT

 **jongfool:** AND I DO HAVE SMALL HANDS WHAT ABOUT IT

 

 **siwonchoi:** UH

 **siwonchoi:** should i call the ambulance or smth

 

 **eunhyukee:** WAIT NOT YET

 **eunhyukee:** wook which vending machine are you at

 

 **ryeong:** the one near the campus entrance

 

 **shindh:** wait what are you gonna do

 

 **eunhyukee:** what must be done

 

 **shindh:** yall so vague with your ‘what must be done’ shit :/

 

 **donghey:** LMAOOOOOOOO

 **donghey:** dumbass

 

 **kimkangin:** it’s so weird to see Donghae calling someone dumbass bc im used to ppl calling him one

 

 **donghey:** shut up fuckface

 

 **kimkangin:** wow okay.

 

 **jongfool:** omg Hyukjae are you gonna save me???

 **jongfool:** HYUKJAE YOU ASSHOLE STOP TAKING PICTURES

 

 **ryeong:** it’s a video you fool and stop yELLING

 

 **chokyu:** fuck all of you i’m never there to see shit like this

 **chokyu:** high school is boring as shit

 

 **shindh:** what about that changmin dude

 

 **chokyu:** he’s been ignoring me

 **chokyu:** also he’s been blasting suju in his earphones since we got to class…

 

 **ryeong:** ew suju

 **ryeong:** tell him to get better taste

 

 **donghey:** hEY they aren’t _that_ bad…

 

 **chokyu:** actually they are

 **chokyu:** miss me with that go kick it in the butt shit

 

 **donghey:** sssSSSHH we don’t talk about that

 **donghey:** imo a-cha is their worst title track

 

 **shindh:** omg shut up you hater

 **shindh:** a-cha was a masterpiece

 **shindh:** their best title track.

 

 **siwonchoi:** Excuse me but

 **siwonchoi:** sf&s is their best title track

 

 **lsungmin:** oh my god

 **lsungmin:** even siwon listens them jnkafsdf

 

 **siwonchoi:** I’m allowed to have good music taste, thank you

 

 **ryeong:** oh god stop you’re all making me c r i n g e

 **ryeong:** n e ways fun’s over, jongwoon’s got his arm out :/

 

 **chokyu:** aw man

 

 **jongfool:** die.

 

 **chokyu:** ily too

 

 **ryeong:** he’s still a fool, however

 

 **jongfool:** wow.

 **jongfool:** icb u

 

 **kimkangin:** sorry you’ve always been a fool

 

 **jongfool:** yea well so are _you_

 

 **shindh:** i hate to interrupt but

 **shindh:** i just saw heechul and jungsoo walk out of the office

 

 **donghey:** omg rlly????

 

 **shindh:** ye

 **shindh:** they look like they’re about to eat each other alive lmao

 

 **eunhyukee:** kinky;)

 

 **lsungmin:** we have A MINOR in this group

 

 **chokyu:** uwu

 

**chokyu has changed their name to chokyuwu.**

 

 **eunhyukee:** dniufsndfs

 **eunhyukee:** fuckin bye-

 

 **donghey:** nooo don’t leave the group

 

 **eunhyukee:** fine.

 

 **lsungmin:** so what about heechul and jungsoo

 

 **shindh:** I’m not? sure?

 **shindh:** they’re going to the infirmary tho

 **shindh:** dunno what happens to them next

 

 **kimkangin:** i lowkey miss them being in the chat being all buddy-buddy

 

 **jongfool:** same:(

 

 **ryeong:** idk

 

 **lsungmin:** idk (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh do you prefer the old format or the new one? i'm trying this one bc a lot of chat fics used this format and it's easier for me to read but kinda complicated during the writing part snlkdfsj anyways im open to any comments 
> 
> so kyu
> 
> •Kyuhyun > Jungsoo: pretty close since they’re cousins
> 
>  
> 
> • Kyuhyun > Heechul: while heechul is hostile with him, he thinks heechul secretly likes him 
> 
>  
> 
> • Kyuhyun > Yesung: they hang out sometimes 
> 
>  
> 
> •Kyuhyun > Kangin: aren’t very close since they don’t talk to e/o much
> 
>  
> 
> •Kyuhyun > Shindong: doesn’t like his taste in music but respects him 
> 
>  
> 
> •Kyuhyun > Sungmin: likes to get him agitated 
> 
>  
> 
> •Kyuhyun > Eunhyuk: also likes to get him agitated by talking about donghae, but mostly bc its funny 
> 
>  
> 
> •Kyuhyun > Siwon: thinks he’s pretty good looking. 
> 
>  
> 
> •Kyuhyun > Donghae: likes to jokingly flirt with him bc its funny 
> 
>  
> 
> •Kyuhyun > Ryeowook: are pretty close with each other since they’re nearly the same age 
> 
> n e ways, twt: @repiayminho, cc: tohoshimkis, ig: tohoshimki


	15. subject: guess who's back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> user heenim has returned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short update bc this week has been super tiring for me!
> 
> i'm seeing wanna one in 15 days and i got seventeen tix i'm so! excited!
> 
> not much to talk abt rn since im tired. its almost 9 pm and i havent eaten dinner yet lol

**jongwoon is a fool.**

**donghey:** hey guys guess what

 

 **ryeong:** idc

 

 **donghey:** guess what day it is

 

 **siwonchoi:** a Saturday?

 

 **donghey:** >:(

 

**Several Hours Later…**

**jongfool:** good morning

 

 **chokyuwu:** it’s 2 pm

 

 **jongfool:** oh

 

 **chokyuwu:** you really live up to your name huh

 

 **jongfool:** you know nothing you plebian high schooler

 

 **chokyuwu:** look at you picking fights with children

 

 **donghey:** omg are you guys gonna square up in the courtyard too?

 **donghey:** btw is no one gonna say anything abt today--

 

 **lsungmin:** NO ONE’S fighting in the damn courtyard

 **lsungmin:** why are you guys like this

 

 **chokyuwu:** no one’s telling you to do shit sungmin

 

 **lsungmin:** WELL I’M SORRY I CARE FOR YOU ALL

 

 **donghey:** woah there

 

 **ryeong:** tough love huh

 

 **lsungmin:** not to be cheesy but i care for you all so much that i’m willing to invite you all to my wedding despite knowing what damages you may cause during the ceremony

 

 **chokyuwu:** ok i’m convinced now

 **chokyuwu:** lay off sungmin guys

 

 **eunhyukee:** dsfhbsjdfus

 

 **lsungmin:** thank u mr. cho

 

 **shindh:** ok no one hit me

 

 **siwonchoi:**???

 

**shindh has added heenim to the group.**

**kimkangin:** really now

**eunhyukee:** OH MY GOD

 

 **donghey:** bless

 

 **chokyuwu:** wait why him and not my cousin?

 

 **heenim:** i’m literally right here you asshole stop shit talking me

 

 **chokyuwu:** still haven’t learned ur lesson huh

 

 **heenim:** stfu

 

 **eunhyukee:** so how was getting your ass chewed off by the dean?

 

 **heenim:** worst fucking experience of my l i f e!

 

 **kimkangin:** lmfao

 **kimkangin:** what’s going to happen

 

 **heenim:** dunno probs community service or some shit who cares

 **heenim:** now to the important matters

 **heenim:** Jungsoo yelled at my face saying that he’s never going to speak with my ugly ass ever again

 **heenim:** big whoop

 

 **chokyuwu:** serves u right

 

 **eunhyukee:** after hearing jungsoo’s side of the story it’s impossible not to side with him

 

 **heenim:** okay i get that what i did was shitty but i’m not getting my ass chewed by a bunch of toddlers as well

 **heenim:** also happy bday Donghae

 

 **donghey:**!!!!FINALLY SOMEONE REMEMBERS

**eunhyukee:** i remember you doofus

 **eunhyukee:** i literally sent you a message first thing in the morning

 

 **donghey:** no you didn’t

 **donghey:** oh wait you did

 

 **eunhyukee:** i’m not even shocked

 **eunhyukee:** btw donghee’s treating us for ur bday

 

 **shindh:** wAIT

 **shindh:** let’s talk abt that later. heechul’s talking

 

 **heenim:** i love you donghee

 **heenim:** anyways

 **heenim:** our friendship’s ruined just like that i guess

 **heenim:** it’s pretty depressing but i had it coming

 

 **ryeong:** this is bc of ur clownery

 **ryeong:** if only you weren’t a big wuss and confessed instead

 

 **kimkangin:** yeah but the drama’s pretty entertaining

 

 **heenim:** me cracking a rib was entertaining…?

 

 **kimkangin:** jungsoo’s a good puncher

 

 **heenim:** :/

 

**heenim has changed kimkangin’s name to youngfool.**

**eunhyukee:** youngfool sounds like some indie artist’s stage name that edgy teenagers listen to

 

 **jongfool:** cool we match now

 

 **youngfool:** i don’t want to be matched with you

 

 **chokyuwu:** then change it???

 

 **youngfool:** meh

 

 **eunhyukee:** this is what you call acceptance, kids

 

 **heenim:** so anyways

 **heenim:** while I wallow over my broken friendship

 **heenim:** whats up

 

 **shindh:** i guess i’m treating you all for hae’s bday

 

 **donghey:** can we go to mcdonalds

 

 **chokyuwu:** why the ever loving fuck would you want to go to mcdonalds for your 20 th birthday?

 

 **donghey:** cuz its cheap?

 **donghey:** i care for donghee’s wallet unlike you guys

 

 **shindh:** i take back everything bad I’ve said about you

 

 **siwonchoi:** You know I don’t mind throwing in a few bucks for your bday…

 

 **eunhyukee:** fuck off donghae’s not gonna fall for someone with cash

 

 **siwonchoi:** Now where did I say I wanted to impress him??

 

 **ryeong:** you two are unbelievable

 

 **heenim:** oh good

 **heenim:** nothing beats an ol’ mcflurry when ur having a mental breakdown

 

 **lsungmin:** are you okay? for real?

 **lsungmin:** hey fucker answer me are you okay?

 

**youngfool has changed lsungmin’s name to tough love.**

**heenim:** i’m having a panic attack rn but i’m good

 

 **tough love:**!!!

 **tough love:** ur a shitty person bc of what you did to Jungsoo but

 **tough love:** guys we’re celebrating hae’s birthday at chul’s place. hyukjae, donghee, and jongwoon can get our food from drive thru

 

 **eunhyukee:** why me

 

 **jongfool:** why me (2)

 

 **donghey:** so like a sleepover????

 

 **heenim:** no one’s sleeping over at my place wtf

 **heenim:** but yeah do what you want i guess

 

 **chokyuwu:** uhhh sorry I can’t really come my mom said no

 **chokyuwu:** not joking i swear

 

 **youngfool:** you sure?

 

 **chokyuwu:** hey i may not like heechul that much but i still care for him as a friend okay

 **chokyuwu:** besides i have tons of homework to do

 

 **ryeong:** he’s not lying he even asked me to help him lmao

 

 **heenim:** wow that’s actually the most thoughtful thing you’ve ever said kyu

 

 **chokyuwu:** just screencap that idc i’m never gonna say it again oof

 

 **tough love:** and you all say I’m the one to give tough love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short update! the next one will be short as well but i'm trying to update as often as possible this summer break! anyways hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading, leaving comments and kudos! 
> 
> twt: repiayminho, cc: tohoshimkis, ig: tohoshimki, tumblr: mxkyuns


	16. subject: nasties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eunhae are nasties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo another update! yay? 
> 
> not much to say rn but enjoy!
> 
> ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR BELOVED LEADER uwu

**jongwoon is a fool.**

**chokyuwu:** so how was the slumber party?

 

 **tough love:** first of all it wasn’t a slumber party, we unintentionally fell asleep

 **tough love:** second, i had the time of my life there thx

 

 **youngfool:** how did eating mcflurry and mcnuggets turn into _that_

**chokyuwu:** what happened

 

 **shindh:** heechul smoked a blunt that’s what happened

 **shindh:** and someone brought alcohol???

 

 **chokyuwu:** you know what i don’t wanna know

 

 **donghey:** good

 **donghey:** also since you and Jungsoo didn’t attend my party let me take you both out hehe

 

 **chokyuwu:** in ur FACE Hyukjae

 

 **eunhyukee:** ohhh i don’t need to worry abt that;))))

 

 **ryeong:** ur getting some?

 

 **eunhyukee:** what no

 

 **donghey:** i promised to pick up Hyukjae from the dance studio so we can hang out on Tuesday uwu

 

 **ryeong:** oH?

 

 **eunhyukee:** yes its called a DATE

 **eunhyukee:** so fuck you kyu

 

 **chokyuwu:** ,,,,you two are dating?

 **chokyuwu:** boi what happened during the sleepover

 

 **shindh:** i was there to witness it all

 **shindh:** nasties

 

 **donghey:** hEY it’s called l o v e

 

 **youngfool:** nasty

 

 **chokyuwu:** bdhsfsd,hjf

 **chokyuwu:** so what exactly happened

 

 **donghey:** what happened was that i’m a cheesy drunk and so is Hyukjae

 

 **eunhyukee:** dshbfsdk i don’t even want to remember half of the things i said to you

 

 **chokyuwu:** so are you guys together or

 

 **eunhyukee:** well he’s taking me on a date

 

 **chokyuwu:** so you guys are together?

 

 **donghey:** ;)

 

 **chokyuwu:** ffs

 

 **eunhyukee:** maybe we are maybe we’re nooooot?

 

 **donghey:** itsasecret

 

 **shindh:** well after the ‘heartfelt’ conversation you had last night about wanting to spend the rest of your lives looking into each others’ eyes and be in each others’ arms it’s impossible not to say you’re dating,,,especially the make out session that followed

 

 **heenim:** my baby’s all grown up oof :’0

 

 **ryeong:** i’m just grateful they didn’t fuck right after

 

 **chokyuwu:** well thank god they didn’t i don’t wanna hear the details

 

 **eunhyukee:** stoP REMINDING ME ABOUT LAST NIGHT HHHHH

 

 **donghey:** so you regret everything you said to me last nigh, hyuk? how cruel:”(

 

 **eunhyukee:** nooo that’s not what i meant babyyy

 **eunhyukee:** do you even realize how fuckin cheesy we were last night like honestly how are you not cringing???

 

 **chokyuwu:** ‘baby’ omg bYE

 

 **donghey:** …actually you’re kinda right

 **donghey:** especially the one about hands ndsfkjsdf

 

 **eunhyukee:** DONT REMIND ME ABT THAT

 

 **shindh:** i’m in the process of recovering from that hands thing

 

 **siwonchoi:** Ugh it was the cringiest

 

 **ryeong:** honestly im just really surprised like

 **ryeong:** when did all of this happen,,,have we been too focused on heech*l and j*ngsoo?

 

 **eunhyukee:** direct messaging and _verbal conversations_ exist you know.

 

 **heenim:** but srsly y’all care too much abt my life :/

 

 **tough love:** excuse us for caring for you despite your asshole self

 

 **heenim:** wow two faced much

 **heenim:** ur tongue was down my throat last night and this is how u treat me

**tough love:** I DID NO SUCH THING WTF

 

 **siwonchoi:** Well you do a lot of things when you’re drunk…

 

 **jongfool:** yeah like giving siwon a lapdance to ring ding dong by shinee

 **jongfool:** while emphasizing on the dong part if you know what i mean

 

 **siwonchoi:** You’re a good dancer but…you’re also good at giving everyone else secondhand embarrassments

 

 **chokyuwu:** STOP I DON’T WANNA KNOW

**tough love:** jesus ch r i ST

 

 **youngfool:** after last night you definitely need that

 

**eunhyukee has chaged tough love’s name to secret hoe.**

**secret hoe:** idek what to say

 

 **jongfool:** shit

 

 **ryeong:** well that doesn’t sound good

 **ryeong:** what’d you do

 

 **jongfool:** i accidentally posted everything i recorded to twitter last night

 

 **secret hoe:** BITCH WHICH VIDEOS

 

 **jongfool:** uH

 **jongfool:** hyuk and hae being cheesy drunks

 **jongfool:** heechul smoking a blunt

 **jongfool:** me drunkenly interviewing youngwoon

 **jongfool:** sungmin….

 

 **secret hoe:** FINISH THAT SENTENCE

 **secret hoe:** SUNGMIN WHAT

 

 **jongfool:** well

 **jongfool:** do you think i should promote my soundcloud under those tweets

 

 **ryeong:** SUNGMIN YOU’RE VIRAL DNSKFJSDUK

 

 **siwonchoi:** DON’T DRAG ME DOWN WITH HIM JONGWOON WHA T THE FUCK

 

 **heenim:** i look rlly awkward with someone’s tongue down my throat down

 

 **secret hoe:** DFBULISDBSDFGKUHLIVUE

 

**secret hoe has left the group.**

**chokyuwu:** another one bites the dust

 **chokyuwu:** we’re really good at keeping stable relationships with people wow

 

 **jongfool:** dfjsd

 **jongfool:** do i delet

 

 **eunhyukee:** i feel bad bc he’s my best friend but

 **eunhyukee:** keep em up for another few hours then take them down

 

 **youngfool:** icb you all

 

 **shindh:** is no one adding him back

 

 **siwonchoi:** For the sake of Sungmin’s sanity, let him be

 

 **youngfool:** that’s valid.

 **youngfool:** so heechul

 **youngfool:** what are you gonna do now

 

 **heenim:** honestly speaking? i can’t even text Jungsoo now bc we blockin each other

 **heenim:** he avoids me like plague in campus

 **heenim:** idk

 

 **shindh:** text him? go to his house?

 

 **heenim:** troublesome.

 **heenim:** he probs has my number blocked too lmao

 

 **youngfool:** then go to his house??? explain yourself???

 **youngfool:** he has nowhere to run if you go to his house

 

 **heenim:** ugh what if it turns into another fist fight

 

 **youngfool:** i’ll be right behind you

 **youngfool:** to record the entire thing

 

 **chokyuwu:** i suddenly love youngwoon

 

 **youngfool:** i don’t wanna be loved by you go away

 

 **heenim:** eh

 **heenim:** i’ll just give him space

**shindh:** lmaoo for how long? 3 fucking months?

 

 **heenim:** lmaoooo yea right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: repiayminho, cc: tohoshimkis, ig: tohoshimki, tumblr: mxkyuns


	17. subject: feet pics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jongwoon cons people for money(not)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO I AM BACK
> 
> so i guess a lotta ppl thought i dropped sj?? which i didnt?? im just rlly hooked on svt and shinee rn since they're very active with promoting so dw it's a seasonal thing. ik sj has been having a lotta schedules recently but they're mostly concerts n supertv (supertv, which i have no time to keep to) 
> 
> EDIT: ik d&e are promoting(sorta) rn but im honestly not rlly into their new stuf,,,,but i did like some of the singles theyve been releasing in the previous months 
> 
> but anyways I'm so excited for Ideal Cut in my city even tho it's a month away aaaa 
> 
> to those reading paint it red, i will continue it btw, it's just that. i had a whole notes of the entire plot and story details but it was all deleted after i had my laptop fixed and it just demotivated me so much. i promise to update again this year! 
> 
> so anyways enjoy this.trash

**jongwoon is still a fool.**

**15:30**

**heenim:** guys help its been 3 months and hes still not acknowledging me akhdlsauk

 

 **ryeong:** rip

 

 **heenim:** :(((((

 **heenim:** @chokyuwu change ur name and help me pls

 

 **chokyuwu:** first of all, no

 **chokyuwu:** second

 **chokyuwu:** how am i supposed to help you

 

 **heenim:** dude he’s your cousin he’ll listen to you

 

 **chokyuwu:** the last time i brought you up he just made this face and i doubt he would want me to bring you up ever again

 

 **siwonchoi:** guess you’re on your own, chul

**heenim:** are you all allergic to the idea of helping me?

 

 **youngfool:** no offense but you were in the wrong

 

 **heenim:** no offense but your username is dumb

 

 **youngfool:** well none of us have spoken here for like, what, nearly 3 months?

 

 **donghey:** omg that’s so sad

 

**16:03**

**donghey:**???why’s everyone quiet

 

 **jongfool:** i thought you were gonna quote a meme

 

 **youngfool:** ^

 

 **donghey:**?????????

 

 **jongfool:** don’t mind me

 **jongfool:** also sungmin ur vids have thousands of retweets ur famous

 **jongfool:** got some ppl asking me for ur name tho

 **jongfool:** some of them asked for feet pics

 **jongfool:** so i sent them this one pic of donghae wearing those ugly gucci slippers and they blocked me lmfao

 

 **donghey:** w ow

 

 **lsungmin:** ….

 **lsungmin:** idk how i feel about.that

 **lsungmin:** also delete that fucking video you vermin

 

 **jongfool:** never. i need the clout.

 

 **eunhyukee:** you sound desperate if you put it that way

 

 **shindh:** it’s because he is

 

 **jongfool:** why does everyone hate me

 

 **heenim:** why does everyone hate me (2)

 

 **shindh:** fyi chul you aren’t trying hard enough to earn his forgiveness just saying

 

 **heenim:** what do you know

 

 **shindh:** staring at him from a distance and trying to ‘accidentally’ bump into him is definitely not helping you

 **shindh:** you need to be more frontal

 

 **eunhyukee:** well look at what happened the last time he tried to confront him lmaooo

 

 **ryeong:** icb you almost threw hands again

 

 **donghey:** icb Hyukjae and i had to stop you both

 

 **jongfool:** ugh we love a power couple

 

 **heenim:** i forgot how easy Donghae can manhandle us

 

 **eunhyukee:** he is thicc

 **eunhyukee:** also it’s bc we’re all used to manhandling him

 

 **youngfool:** *insert student athlete meme*

 

 **lsungmin:** dig bick energy

 

 **eunhyukee:** LMAO

 **eunhyukee:** he don’t. like. both mentally and physically

 

 **donghey:** YOU KNOW WHAT WE’RE NOT GOING TO DO HERE? SHAME MY DICK

 

 **heenim:** yeah Hyukjae apologize to him

 

 **eunhyukee:** fine

 **eunhyukee:** i’m sorry you have tiny dick

 

 **ryeong:** HAHAHHSLUASJDSADNJ

 

 **donghey:** you ass

 **donghey:** i’m not kissing you for a week >:(

 

 **eunhyukee:** i can live with that

 

 **donghey:**!!!!

 **donghey:** then we’re not doing t h a t for a week

 

 **shindh:** wow ! information i didn’t need to know !

 

 **eunhyukee:** baby i’m so sorry that i said you have a tiny dick

 

 **chokyuwu:** those in favor to kick Donghae and Hyukjae out say I

 

 **ryeong:** I

 

 **lsungmin:** ….I

 

 **youngfool:** fuckin I

 

 **heenim:** eh. I

 

 **jongfool:** I

 

 **siwonchoi:**...

 

 **eunhyukee:** siwon i promise to suck your dick if you don’t say I

 

 **donghey:** same here!!!

 

 **ryeong:** YOU TWO ARE SUCH FREAKS GOODBYE

 

**ryeong has removed donghey and eunhyukee from the group.**

**lsungmin:** finally

 

 **jongfool:** sungmin another guy is asking for you

 

 **lsungmin:** for fuck’s sake, jongwoon, block them and delete the damn video

 

 **jongfool:** they’re offering $350 for…armpit pics?

 

 **lsungmin:** THAT’S NASTY BLOCK THEM YOU FOOL

 

 **chokyuwu:** WAIT NO

 **chokyuwu:** just send them hyukjae’s and tell them to send the $$$ to my account since sungmin doesn’t want it

 

 **lsungmin:** kyuhyun i will personally beat you up

 **lsungmin:** and jongwoon delete the fucking video you got ur clout already

 

 **jongfool:** someone requested for feet pics again and they’re offering $400 omg

 

 **chokyuwu:** SEND THEM JUNGSOO’S FEET PICS GIMME DEM $$$

 

**lsungmin has removed chokyuwu and jongfool from the group.**

**ryeong:** how does it feel like to be the last men standing

 

 **siwonchoi:** oddly satisfying

 

 **youngfool:** amazing bc i don’t have to deal with their clownery anymore.

 

 **shindh:** how many people are we down to

 

 **lsungmin:** me, you, youngwoon, siwon, ryeowook, and heechul

 

 **heenim:** * BIG SIGH *

 

 **shindh:** being mopey about it isn’t going to mend your relationship with Jungsoo

 

 **heenim:** i fuckn know that

 

 **shindh:** don’t be rude

 **shindh:** >:(((

 

 **siwonchoi:** ***>:-(((((

 

 **heenim:** do you want me to kick you out as well

 

**siwonchoi:  
**

****

**lsungmin:** he looks so….polite

 

 **shindh:** sungmin pls

 **shindh:** it’s pretty old

 

 **lsungmin:** it’s my first time seeing it

 

 **shindh:** are you

 **shindh:** are you joking

 

 **youngfool:** he even has a twitter account what

 

 **ryeong:** god what part of twt are you in to not know that

 

 **lsungmin:** uH

 

 **ryeong:** *eye emoji*

 

 **lsungmin:** gotta blast

 

**lsungmin has left the group.**

**heenim:** loser won’t admit he uses twt for porn

 **heenim:** anyways

 **heenim:** i see Jungsoo

 **heenim:** he looks like he’s in a Good Mood

 

 **ryeong:** go???for it???

 

 **heenim:** hhhhh

 **heenim:** i

 **heenim:** i think

 **heenim:** i will

 **heenim:** we’re graduating this year and i’m not gonna part ways with him on bad terms

 

 **youngfool:** i support you

 

 **shindh:** don’t mess it up!

 

 **siwonchoi:** don’t blow it!!!

 

 **ryeong:** oh he’s gonna ‘blow it’ at some point ;)))))

 

**heenim has removed ryeong from the group.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT:  
> do you want the next chapter in chat form or a special chapter with a 3rd person pov? i'll cover how eunhae get together as well as heechul and jungsoo's confrontation. do tell me in the comments~
> 
> twt: repiayminho  
> ig: tohoshimki  
> cc: tohoshimkis  
> tumblr: mxkyuns


	18. subject: reconcile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...and we're back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME AND I HAVE NO EXCUSES I WAS JUST HAVING A WRITER'S BLOCK WOOPS.
> 
> s/o to kara for motivating me to continue this uwu
> 
> so. a lotta things have been happening.
> 
> I already got accepted into my backup university but I'm working hard in getting accepted to my actual desired one (and it's pretty hard to get into) so please wish me luck and pray for me hhhhh 
> 
> and i saw seventeen live and i am!!! still euphoric even tho it's been a whole week, i miss them all but i miss minghao and wonwoo the most smh :(
> 
> anyways, hope you guys enjoy this special chapter :D

Heechul has been staring at Jungsoo for God knows how long. The elder was sitting on one of the benches in the courtyard, drink in hand, talking to his friends. Heechul recognizes one of them as Taeyeon, one of his closest friends. She was pretty much clueless about the whole drama going down between Heechul and Jungsoo and Heechul thought it was better that way. However, the younger was starting to catch on since it was pretty odd not to see Heechul and Jungsoo together.

 

Jungsoo’s hair was the color of grapefruit at the moment and Heechul personally thinks it’s the best hair color on him. He couldn’t help but smile when Jungsoo laughs a bit too loud, throwing his head back a little.

 

A slap on his back interrupted his train of thoughts. With an irritated look, he looks back to see Donghae and Hyukjae grinning up to him innocently, ignoring the look Heechul had on his face.

 

“So,” Hyukjae smirks, gaze flickering between Heechul and Jungsoo, “did you do it?”

 

“What do you think?” Heechul groans, running his fingers through his hair out of furstration.

 

Donghae snickers. “I think you’re a coward and you should hurry up before Jungsoo starts noticing you creepily staring at him from the bushes like a freak.”

 

“Well if I’m a freak for staring at him from the bushes, what does that make you?” Heechul points out with a blank look, watching the way Hyukjae was staring at Jungsoo as well.

 

“Babe, I think he’s talking to you,” Donghae says when Hyukjae didn’t answer Heechul’s question.

 

“It was a rhetorical question, don’t answer that, dumbass,” Heechul hisses. “Now make yourselves useful and get his friends out of the way.”

 

Hyukjae raises a brow. “You want us to play wingman?”

 

“No! I just need you to get his friends away for a while so I can talk to him-“

 

“-and finally make out?” Donghae receives a slap on the head for that. “Well _ow_. Anyways, is this really a good place to talk?” Donghae inquires.

 

Heechul tilts his head.

 

Hyukjae sighs. “You are fully aware of what happened here the last time you guys tried to talk to each other.”

 

Heechul thought for a moment.

 

“Who cares. If we’re fighting again, so be it. But I don’t want to continue this ‘cold war’.” Heechul stands up from the bushes. “Okay, I trust you guys to do your thing and distract the others while I talk to Jungsoo, got it?”

 

Hyukjae playfully salutes at him. “You got it, boss!”

 

“What the hell are you guys doing here?” The three look behind to see Donghee standing behind them with a skepitcal look. He scans the three men before looking up to see Jungsoo on the other side. “Oh, I see.”

 

Hyukjae grins. “Just in time! Come on, you’re helping us,” Hyukjae arose from his spot and started dragging Donghee with him, “come on, Hae, there’s not time to waste!”

 

Donghae smiles and nods, flashing Heechul a thumbs up before following Hyukjae and a reluctant Donghee.

 

 _“Okay, you can do this, Heechul,”_ he says to himself. Heechul waited for Hyukjae and the others to make their move, however he finds himself covering his face out of second embarrassment when he sees the trio pretending to fight in the courtyard, reenacting Heechul and Jungsoo’s fight that took place 3 months ago.

 

Of course, not only that caught Taeyeon and the others’ attention, but some of the lecturers who happened to pass by tried to stop the ‘fight’. Heechul pities Donghee for being dragged into the mess, he watches the eldest out of three try to stop Donghae from ripping his shirt off like Jungsoo did.

 

With Taeyeon and Jungsoo’s other friends gone, the latter was sat alone on the bench, watching the fight go down with a blank look, but he didn’t seem to be in a bad mood at all.

 

Heechul glances down to his phone before taking a step out of the bushes.

 

**last men standing**

**youngfool:** chul tf are you doing in the bushes are you pissing

 

 **heenim:** shut up

 

 **siwonchoi:** have you spoken to him yet???

 

 **heenim:** uh

 **heenim:** i’m getting to it

 

**heenim has added lsungmin and ryeong to the group.**

**heenim:** i am in need of Moral Support

 

 **lsungmin:** why would i give you any

 

 **heenim:** because you love me

 

 **ryeong:** like how you ‘loved’ jungsoo?

 

 **siwonchoi:** ryeowook!!

 

 **ryeong:** they are facts and I’m not afraid to use them

 **ryeong:** anyways, stop being so scared and fucking do it you cOWARD

 

 **youngfool:** he has a point

 

**heenim has added chokyuwu, donghey, eunhyukee, and jongfool to the group.**

**heenim:** heLP

 **heenim:** i’m about to mcfuckin lose i t

 

**chokyuwu has sent a[video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-LIrDa0VeA).**

**heenim:** shut the fuck uP

 

 **chokyuwu:** what else do you want me to say huh

 

 **jongfool:** pretty sure he’ll never appreciate anything you have to say pal lmao

 

 

Heechul decided to ignore the groupchat before Jongwoon and Kyuhyun get into some dumb fight. He looks up to see Jungsoo, still staring at Donghae and Hyukjae getting scolded and Donghee trying to explain what the hell just happened.

 

Heechul takes a deep breath before marching all the way to Jungsoo, placing an hand to tap his shoulder which resulted the slightly older man to turn around. Initially, Jungsoo looked surprised to see Heechul there, though his expression shifts into a skeptical look, eyes scanning Heechul with a judging gaze.

 

“What do you want?” Jungsoo grumbles.

 

Heechul flinches at the tone. “Wow, not even a hello? I messed up that bad?”

 

Jungsoo scoffs, looking away. “Took you a while to do this. Even Donghae is less of a coward than you are.”

 

That drove a dry laughter out of Heechul. “Very funny, leave my son out of this and let’s talk like adults.”

 

“We _are_ adults.”

 

“Adults don’t rip their shirts off in the middle of a courtyard fighting his former best friend,” Heechul dryly remarks, to which Jungsoo flushes at.

 

“Well…that was out of my control,” he reasons. “But…talk. So we can get this over with.”

 

“You really hate me that much?”

 

“After what you did to me…I might,” Jungsoo replies, still avoiding Heechul’s gaze.

 

Heechul huffs as he takes a seat besides Jungsoo. The elder didn’t move away from him, which was a sign that he at least tolerates him. Besides, three months was enough to probably forgive someone, knowing Jungsoo’s big heart.

 

“Look,” Heechul starts, “I want to say that what I did to you was pretty much shitty and I deserve whatever you threw at me; I deserved to be hated by you, ignored by you, antagonized by you, getting beat up by a shirtless you in the middle of the courtyard-“ Jungsoo slaps Heechul’s mouth at that.

 

“Let’s leave that part,” Jungsoo hisses, face flushing red.

 

Heechul smirks out of amusement. “What? Why? You have a great body.”

 

Jungsoo groans, hiding his face into his hands. “Unbelievable. I hate you.”

 

“Not really,” Heechul shot back, “anyway, back to my sob story. I’m not trying to victimize myself even if it comes off that way, but I was really worried if my mom would try to hook me up with someone because I already have one person in mind.”

 

Jungsoo perks up at that, finally looking up to meet Heechul’s gaze. However, the latter was avoiding his eyes instead.

 

“Y-you have someone in mind?”

 

“Y-yeah,” Heechul stutters out. “But before we get to that,” Heechul faces Jungsoo at last, his hand reaching out to hold Jungsoo’s, “I want to a-apologize. I really don’t deserve your kindness, if I were you, I wouldn’t even listen to what I have to say.”

 

Jungsoo snorts. “Believe me, seeing you still pisses me off a lot since you pretty muched messed up with my feelings and…I too have someone in my mind, that’s why the whole fake dating thing kinda threw me off.”

 

“Oh…” Heechul runs his fingers through his hair, “well, understandable. I’m sorry for dragging you into my own mess.”

 

“I’m sorry for fighting you in the courtyard.”

 

Heechul snickers. “You really didn’t have to apologize for that. I deserved it.” Jungsoo smiles a little, which causes Heechul to flush red for a moment before smiling back at his now-best-friend again. “Also. I have something to tell you,” Heechul’s voice grew quiet at the last word.

 

Jungsoo raises a brow.

 

 _“Should I tell him ‘that’ as well…?”_ Heechul wonders to himself, seeing that Jungsoo had calmly accepted his apology and they were back to the way they were before. However, he was aware that Jungsoo still needed some time to get used to it all, and that he wasn’t fully forgiven yet, so he still has to win him over a little.

 

So it wouldn’t be the right time for ‘that’. They would be moving too fast.

 

“…Donghae and Hyukjae got together.”

 

Jungsoo laughs a little.

 

“Somehow, that isn’t surprising at all.”

 

**last men standing**

**heenim has added teuk83 to the group.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp that's a lot. next chapter will be in chat format. 
> 
> so i hate to say this but we are close to an end :( 
> 
> so the plan is
> 
> chap 19: chat format/filler chapter  
> chap 20: special eunhae chapter  
> chap 20: chat format/teukchul getting together pt 1  
> chap 21: chat format/ teukchul getting together pt 2  
> chap 22: chat format/filler/(and here it is....kyu's crush revelation)  
> chap 23: chat form/final chapter! :(


	19. subject: lookalikes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> teukchul are cool again but heehul is still dumb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i managed to get a chapter done faster than before at last lol
> 
> and woah we hittin chap 20 soon and almost 10k hits??? man i legit thought this fic was gonna flop bc it didn't get much attention the first week i posted this :0

**last men standing**

**heenim has added teuk83 to the group.  
**

**lsungmin:** OHMYGOD

 

 **youngfool:** fucking fINALLY

 

 **jongfool:** took you a while

 

 **siwonchoi:** could’ve been faster

 

 **chokyuwu:** jdkfsdjkfsdfkjsd

 

 **ryeong:** i am crying tears of joy as i type

**donghey:** KJDSHFJKSDFJSDK WE DID IT

 

 **heenim:** hey didn’t you get arrested or smth

 

 **ryeong:** what

 

 **eunhyukee:** nah don’t worry about that nothing bad happened

 

 **shindh:** don’t EVER leave me alone with those two freaks

 

 **donghey:** heyyy this’ll be funny in the next few years :D

 

 **teuk83:** i’m guessing i missed out a lot?

 

 **jongfool:** damn well you did >:(

 

 **teuk83:** this is sweet and all but idk how to express that i lowkey miss you guys after all these months

 

 **eunhyukee:** your problem was literally with heechul why did you ignore the rest of us >:(

 

 **shindh:** >:(

 

 **donghey:** >:)

 

 **eunhyukee:**.

 **eunhyukee:** anyways.

 

 **ryeong:** the point of this gc was for chul and jungsoo to get together wasn’t it? now that’s exposed…

 

 **chokyuwu:** yeah goodbye ion wanna be here anymore

 

 **lsungmin:** you can’t leave

 **lsungmin:** we need to look for another fake bf for heechul

 

 **heenim:** ah dammit i forgot my mom’s still going to pester me about it after this hhhh

 

 **siwonchoi:** is it that hard to tell her that you aren’t dating anyone at the moment?

 

 **heenim:** she expects me to marry once i graduate and i have a few months left till then :))))

 

 **siwonchoi:** oh wow that sucks i cant help you with that

 

 **heenim:** fukdjnkjsdfns

 **heenim:** who turned siwon into a giant asshole he was never this mean

 

 **ryeong:** nah he’s better this way

 

 **heenim:** no he’s not my feelings are hURT

 

 **ryeong:** w e a k

 **ryeong:** anyway what about the marriage thing

 

 **heenim:** right

 **heenim:** i don’t want to get married

 **heenim:** at least not anytime soon

 

 **siwonchoi:** you should tell her that you’re not ready?

 **siwonchoi:** wouldn’t that be for the best?

 

 **chokyu:** i think i have three perfect candidates to be ur next fake gf/bf since you and jungsoo didn’t rlly work out

 

 **donghey:** hEY sensitve topic,,,,

 

 **chokyu:** fuck you

 **chokyu:** anywho

 **chokyu:** exhibit A

 

 **heenim:** FUCK YOU

 

 **jongfool:** oof who’s that hot stuff :0

 

 **chokyu: e** xhibit B

 

 **shindh:** LMFAOOOOO

 

 **eunhyukee:** wig!

 

 **chokyu:** exhibit C

 

 **heenim:** YOU TRICKASS BITCH THAT’S NOT ME

 

 **youngfool:** ain’t he from seventeen

 

 **heenim:** YES

 **heenim:** AND GUESS WHAT

**heenim:**

****

**lsungmin:** HECK

 

 **teuk83:** heck (2)

 **teuk83:** when was that

 

 **siwonchoi:** ooOOH i think i remember that day

 

 **eunhyukee:** elaborate plz

 

 **siwonchoi:** we were just walking around and we passed their company building and there he was, walking outside with no mask or whatsoever

 **siwonchoi:** n i told chul to take a picture with him bc ppl say they look alike lol

 

 **donghey:** siwon typing like the rest of us,,,,im scalped

 

 **lsungmin:** new rule wig and scalped are old and boring stop using it

 

 **donghey:** i’m using it ironically-

 

 **lsungmin:** still old

 **lsungmin:** anyways i rlly don’t see the similarity between you two

 

 **jongfool:** me 2

 

 **heenim:**.

 **heenim:** idk how i feel abt that

 

 **shindh:** wha????? they literally look like they were separated from birth????

 

 **youngfool:** donghee what are u smoking

 

 **donghey:** well what are YOU smoking??? they definitely look alike????

 

 **lsungmin:** u blind

 

 **donghey:** u blinder

 

 **eunhyukee:** ye you need ur eyes fixed min

 

 **lsungmin:** are you for real hyukjae

 

 **teuk83:** guys come on we need to help our friend

 **teuk83:** like siwon said, you can just tell your mom you aren’t ready. you’re an adult, chul.

 

 **heenim:** easier said than done smh

 **heenim:** she still thinks you and i are together

 

 **teuk83:** ….isn’t that a good thing then?

 

 **heenim:** hUH

 

 **jongfool:** ooooooooOOOOOOOHHHHH

 

 **teuk83:** i mean

 **teuk83:** she won’t force u to date if she still thinks ur dating someone???

 

 **youngfool:** dammit jungsoo

 

 **heenim:** well i guess you’re right

 **heenim:** thing is i did tell her we ‘broke up’ but she still thinks im dating you????

 

 **ryeong:** rip

 

**The Next Week.**

**heenim:** y’know when they said don’t lie bc you’ll dig ur own grave deeper

 **heenim:** that sentence didn’t even make sense but in short: im doomed

 

 **chokyu:** what’d u do u fool

 

 **heenim:** why do you assume everything i do is foolish

 

 **teuk83:** cause it’s tru lol

 

 **heenim:** woops sorry

**siwonchoi:** burn lol

 

 **heenim:** can you go back to typing like how you used to this is making me Uncomfortable

 

 **jongfool:** let him be!!!!!

 

 **shindh:** let’s be honest, typing properly in this gc looks intimidating af

 **shindh:** feels like ur doing smth wrong

 

 **teuk83:** What do you mean by that? Are you offended from the way I write my sentences?

 

 **donghey:** If you hated something about you should have said so from the beginning.

 

 **shindh:** s t o p

 

 **youngfool:** yknow what’s scarier? when they type rlly short and in lowercase but with no punctuation

 

 **teuk83:** ok

 

 **youngfool:** kdsjfhdsifhwe;

 

 **ryeong:** guys cmon chul wants to say smth we should pay attention

 

 **heenim:** ur being nice for once

 

 **ryeong:** don’t take it for granted

 

 **heenim:** but yes

 **heenim:** i fucked up big time now my mom wants to meet jungsoo

 **heenim:** i need help

 

 **teuk83:** uh

 **teuk83:** im cool with it

 

 **heenim:** uhhhh

 **heenim:** didn’t we just fight for 3 months abt this whole issue

 

 **teuk83:** it was a whole misunderstanding wasn’t it? besides you’re my friend too and i want to help you. or we can tell her together that we’re over

 

 **heenim:** wow….thank u tho

 

 **shindh:** this whole convo is stressing me out just KISS ALREADY

 

 **heenim:** w hat

 

 **teuk83:** uh,,,,

 

 **donghey:** DONGHEE DON’T RUIN THE MOMENT JUST LET IT HAPPEN

 

 **eunhyukee:** im going to mcfucking scream you two are so bad at this

 

 **teuk83:** idk what i missed but don’t fight pls

 

 **chokyuwu:** i fucking hate this group chat


End file.
